My 19-year-old son, Alex, is employed at an upscale steakhouse located in the bustling center of our city. He had a shift last Saturday night. At first, I was pleased to see him scheduled for so many hours. I understand the risks involved with him being out in public, especially with the coronavirus still present, but since his university sent him home after Spring Break due to health concerns, I have been increasingly worried about how isolating it is for him at this age.
As many parents of teenagers know, it’s a delicate balance. For now, I believe it’s beneficial for him to wear a mask and work a few days a week. It feels like a risk worth taking in this ongoing challenge of single parenting.
That was until last weekend… I found myself glued to the news for seven hours, more than I have watched in a long time. The last time I was so engrossed was after my husband’s tragic death. I had avoided the news since then, not wanting to relive painful memories. But on this Saturday, I could not look away.
Trouble was brewing downtown, and I found myself worrying about Alex, who was working nearby, completely unaware of the situation. I texted him to head straight home after his shift and to avoid any protests or large gatherings. He calmly replied, assuring me that protests were only happening in major cities and that if there was one, he would definitely want to check it out.
That’s when I realized I might be facing a dilemma. It hadn’t crossed my mind that he wouldn’t shy away from the protests; instead, he would be drawn to them. He has always had a strong sense of justice, and I admire that about him.
I hadn’t even watched the footage of George Floyd’s death yet; I had chosen to stay in my protective bubble since losing my husband. But after finally watching the video, I was devastated.
Later that night, Alex returned home safely, exhausted from his shift, unaware that protests had indeed occurred in our city, with more planned for the next day. The following morning, he woke to a flurry of messages from friends informing him about a daytime rally organized by Black Lives Matter, set to start at our state capital and march to the police station.
Having heard about it the night before, I spent the entire night contemplating reasons to keep him from going. I had a laundry list of concerns—from the potential danger of counter-protesters to trivial “Mom worries,” like his need for sunblock in the heat.
Yet, after wrestling with my fears all night, I recognized that I had raised my children with the understanding that they should stand up for what is right. I was never the kind of mother who hovered, and while I always trusted them to manage their own comfort, I drilled into them the importance of defending those who are mistreated.
I have instilled in my kids a sense of responsibility to act against bullying and injustice, and I’m proud of that, even if they claim I’ve made them overly sensitive.
As parents, we can support our children by attending peaceful protests, contributing to causes, organizing vigils, and advocating for change. Most importantly, we must show them our pride for standing up for what they believe in. And yes, we can still remind them to wear sunblock.
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Summary
As a parent, I’ve grappled with the decision to encourage my son to join the Black Lives Matter protests, acknowledging the risks while recognizing the importance of standing up for justice. I believe in fostering his sense of responsibility to fight against injustice, which ultimately shapes his character.