“Is he in school yet?”
This question has become a familiar refrain ever since my son, Max, learned to walk. It comes from every direction: fellow moms at the playground, curious nannies, and even distant relatives I hardly know. What is it about preschool that captures everyone’s attention?
I don’t have a strong stance on the preschool debate; I believe families should do what works best for them. For some, full-day preschool is a necessity due to work commitments, while others may find it financially unfeasible. It can certainly be a delightful experience for both children and parents alike. My older son, Jake, attended preschool, and it was a positive experience for us.
However, I do take issue with the notion that young children need formal schooling. The idea that failing to enroll them early might set them on a path to future educational struggles is something I question. Why the rush to conform to this school-like environment? I understand that many toddler programs market themselves by showcasing educational benefits, and during Jake’s preschool days, we even received progress reports detailing his milestones.
But honestly, I find that hard to believe.
What exactly do toddlers and preschoolers do all day? They spend their time exploring nature, like crawling around looking for ants—this is science. They might run around counting dandelions in the yard—this is math. They can even ransack the library to find the book with the giant red truck on the cover—this is reading.
It’s not that I don’t actively teach my kids. If they’re interested, I gladly introduce them to shapes, letters, and numbers, and both Jake and Max have shown curiosity. Yet, many young children may not be inclined toward formal learning, and that’s perfectly fine.
I’ve witnessed numerous gatherings of 2-, 3-, and 4-year-olds, and believe me, when they are all together, bouncing around and tossing plastic food at each other, not much learning is taking place. Any real education at that age tends to happen through one-on-one interactions or organic experiences.
Preschool can certainly offer a fun setting for kids to socialize, but it’s not the sole option. Playdates fulfill these social needs, and children gain knowledge simply by exploring their surroundings, being read to, and having the time to absorb everything around them.
As a (mostly) full-time mom, I can take a relaxed approach to education. Max will turn three this fall, and I have chosen not to enroll him in preschool. Unlike Jake, he just doesn’t seem ready yet (and he is also six months younger). We’ll keep busy with activities involving other children. Plus, I’ll need some breaks to maintain my sanity—thank you, Grandma!
Most importantly, I want to cherish the freedom that unstructured time provides him. I plan to observe his learning journey at his own pace. If he shows interest, I’ll introduce him to numbers, letters, and stories. I’ll also teach him about love, kindness, and friendship.
Perhaps down the line, if he expresses interest and it fits our budget, I might consider enrolling him in preschool. But I won’t pressure him into it, and I’ll maintain realistic expectations about its role. I recognize that preschool can enrich a child’s life, but it’s not a mandatory component of their education. Discovery, learning, and social play can flourish without formal schooling. I hope more parents come to realize this and acknowledge the myriad of wonderful ways children can grow and thrive.
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In summary, the decision not to send my son to preschool stems from a belief in the value of unstructured play and organic learning. While preschool works for many families, it’s not a necessity for every child, and there are countless valid ways for kids to learn and develop.