As parents, how can we guide our children to understand differences in race without making them uncomfortable or insensitive? My approach is straightforward: I believe in embracing diversity, recognizing that people come in various colors, and that we should not shy away from this reality.
One of the most enlightening discussions I had as a father occurred during a gathering with other parents of toddlers. We found ourselves deep in conversation about how to raise children who are both aware of racial issues and appreciative of diversity. The atmosphere was charged, reflecting a group of different ethnic backgrounds, and as the only light-skinned individual, I felt a bit out of place. The conversation took a positive turn when someone invoked the phrase, “We’re all the same!” However, another parent quickly countered, “But we’re not.”
Teaching kids to be “color blind” can inadvertently do them a disservice. It’s crucial to acknowledge that people have different sizes, shapes, abilities, and backgrounds. Ignoring these variations doesn’t make them disappear; rather, it makes the conversation around them awkward and insincere. Recognizing our differences is essential, and the challenge lies in how we interact with and respect those differences. Everyone deserves equal opportunities and love, and while we may share the same racial categories, our skin tones vary widely.
During our discussion, we noted the historical tendency to categorize people by race, but it’s important to remember that race is just one aspect of who we are. When simplified for my children, I explain that my skin differs from theirs and that their mother also has a unique hue. In our family, we may all identify as “white,” yet each of us possesses distinct skin tones. This recognition of color is a valid way to describe our differences, without any judgment attached.
About a month later, while shopping with my youngest daughter, she innocently asked about a man in front of us, “Why is he purple?” I felt a wave of embarrassment wash over me, but the man turned around, chuckling, and replied, “I like that. Sweetie, that’s how God made me.” This encounter reminded me that the language we use to describe others is largely influenced by our perspective. The beauty of our diversity is something to celebrate.
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In summary, teaching our children to recognize and embrace differences in race and culture is essential. It’s not about promoting a color-blind philosophy but rather fostering an appreciation for the rich tapestry of humanity that surrounds us.