In the early days of motherhood, I was haunted by vivid and unsettling thoughts. As I carried my newborn down the stairs, I would imagine losing my footing and crashing down, both of us injured. While driving to the store, visions of a head-on collision would flash through my mind. Even bath time felt perilous; I could picture my baby struggling to breathe underwater.
Initially, I thought I was losing my mind, a victim of sleep deprivation and anxiety. Then, I spoke with another new mom. “I experience that too!” she exclaimed, and suddenly, we both felt a surge of relief. We concluded that these dark imaginings were our minds’ way of preparing us to be vigilant parents.
It made sense: our brains were alerting us to potential dangers, prompting us to navigate stairs with caution and drive defensively. We were instinctively trying to be good mothers.
Fast forward seven years, and while those intrusive thoughts have diminished, they still appear. Now, I find myself envisioning more disturbing scenarios—like a troubled young man entering my son’s school with a weapon or catastrophic events at public venues. These thoughts are overwhelming and completely beyond my control.
Not long ago, my father remarked on the prevalence of helicopter parenting among my generation, saying, “You’re all walking around scared. It’s like you’re shell-shocked.” That statement resonated deeply. While we aren’t soldiers facing combat, we parents have been impacted by the pervasive fear that has seeped into our lives over the past two decades.
In our twenties, we witnessed tragedies unfold live on television, such as planes crashing into buildings. Since then, the news cycle has only intensified, bombarding us with stories of violence, suffering, and loss. We’ve been exposed to a relentless stream of “Breaking News” about wars, crime, and unimaginable horrors, along with the heart-wrenching tales of children who have faced unimaginable fates.
Then we became parents.
As the news cycle spins faster, finding joy in life feels increasingly challenging. The media competes for our attention, relentlessly pushing bad news until it becomes a permanent fixture in our lives. Just yesterday, as I searched for a children’s show for my four-year-old, the screen flashed with the horrifying headline: “A Jordanian pilot has been burned alive by ISIS.”
News outlets often carry disclaimers like “WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT,” raising ethical concerns about the constant display of death and tragedy. With the rise of social media, we are bombarded with not only the lives of our friends but also the details of tragedies from around the world. We feel the weight of sadness for people we’ve never met, momentarily living their grief through our screens.
People often claim that the internet has shrunk the world, making it more interconnected. While we may have friends across the globe, it’s a disservice to suggest the world is small; in fact, it’s vast—filled with countless stories, information, and experiences. The internet showcases the enormity of life, where you can find anything from “How to clean a P-trap” to step-by-step videos on various tasks.
It’s crucial to remember that while death and tragedy are omnipresent, they don’t belong to us personally. The world is full of life and beauty, and our immediate surroundings, while sometimes alarming, are not as dangerous as they may seem. Statistically, the world is safer than it was, yet fear can distort our perception. The real threats often come from those we know rather than strangers.
To maintain my sanity, I’ve made conscious choices. I limit my exposure to local news and avoid distressing content about violence and loss. I strive to stay informed without succumbing to cynicism and despair. I remind myself that knowledge doesn’t equate to fear, and I mustn’t burden myself with every potential danger.
I frequently affirm, “I cannot shield my children from everything.” Instead, my focus is on fostering a healthy environment for myself and my kids, allowing them to explore the world independently, learn from their experiences, and cultivate empathy over fear.
Let’s commit to reducing our intake of violent news, minimizing worry over the uncontrollable, and recognizing the vast and largely wonderful world we inhabit. Let’s appreciate nature with our children, allow them to experience failure, and engage with others. Rather than hovering over them, let’s embrace the ups and downs of life together.
Doesn’t that sound peaceful? Not ignorance, but blissful awareness.
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Summary:
The article discusses the mental toll that constant exposure to distressing news can have on parents, particularly mothers. It highlights the intrusive thoughts that often accompany new motherhood and the societal fear propagated by relentless media coverage of violence and tragedy. The author emphasizes the importance of protecting one’s mental well-being by limiting exposure to negative news, fostering independence in children, and appreciating the beauty of the world.