Why I Rely on My Partner for Homework Assistance

Adult human female anatomy diagram chartAt home insemination

The hours from 4 to 7 p.m. can be a real challenge for any parent. This “witching hour” doesn’t disappear once your children are out of diapers. Whether it’s due to hunger, fatigue, or the general exhaustion that comes from a long day, it seems that everyone in my household experiences at least one meltdown during this time—myself included.

During these frantic hours, the list of things to accomplish is daunting, yet my energy levels are at an all-time low. Any parent can relate to this struggle: first, there’s dinner. It often feels like a joke since my kids graze from mid-afternoon until bedtime, but somewhere in that chaos, we manage to squeeze in an actual dinner. Then, of course, comes the endless cleanup. There are always dishes to unload and reload, lunch boxes to clean and prep for the next day, and toys strewn across the floor that require constant reminders to pick up. Plus, I have to deal with permission slips, emails to teachers, and the countless stories my kids share about their day. It’s like I’m juggling the roles of social worker, therapist, and motivational speaker all at once.

And then there’s homework. The bane of every parent’s existence. Why do elementary school children even have homework? Research indicates that it’s often ineffective, especially in the early years. Perhaps it’s intended to instill discipline or self-motivation, yet it rarely seems to yield those results in our house.

My son is a diligent student, and I appreciate that immensely. However, after spending six hours in school, it’s understandable that he isn’t eager for more work, especially when his homework mirrors what he’s already done all day. I realize most teachers don’t have a choice in assigning homework and are simply following guidelines, but I’ve given my son the option to skip it some nights. Despite his desire to complete it (bless his heart!), the process of actually getting it done is pure torture.

What should only take about 15 minutes often morphs into an hour filled with begging, pleading, and eventually, the dreaded phrase, “Just don’t do it!”—which, oddly enough, tends to motivate him. Given everything I have on my plate during those evening hours, you can bet I won’t be involved in the homework struggle. That’s where my partner, Mark, comes into play.

Mark is a high school English teacher, which means he spends his days trying to coax reluctant teenagers into completing their assignments. He comes home drained but knows his evening responsibilities: take out the trash, shower our 3-year-old with hugs, and assist our 9-year-old with homework. He understands that I have my own list of tasks, and the homework burden is a manageable part of his evening routine. Yes, some nights can be chaos—if he’s exhausted and our son is worn out from school, it can quickly become a disaster. Other times, the homework itself is so confusing (hello, Common Core math—what is that?) that it leaves everyone frustrated.

But there are moments where the homework can foster a connection between father and son. They enjoy picking out the most absurd math problems together, or occasionally, they turn the homework into a fun game to alleviate the monotony. Overall, it tends to work out well and offers a fair division of responsibilities. While homework will always be a challenge for parents and kids alike, Mark knows he’s fortunate to escape relatively unscathed compared to the chaos I manage.

Having a supportive partner who is home at a reasonable hour and willing to step up for homework help is a blessing. It’s amusing to think that I even have to mention this as “help.” If your partner is present during those chaotic evening hours, they should definitely be contributing. For this school year, with my son moving into fourth grade, we plan to encourage him to take more ownership of his homework and gradually reduce the level of parental involvement—wish us luck with that! If it doesn’t pan out, I know Mark will be back at the kitchen table, bleary-eyed, attempting to unravel the complexities of long division while our son complains about the lack of sharpened pencils. Meanwhile, I’ll be at the sink, tackling yet another load of dishes, sneaking glances at them, and feeling grateful that I don’t have to face those math problems ever again.

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In summary, balancing homework and household responsibilities requires teamwork. I’m fortunate to have Mark beside me during those hectic hours. As we navigate this school year, we’ll focus on helping our son become more self-sufficient while continuing to support each other through the evening chaos.