For most of my twenties, I was a self-proclaimed couch potato. Late mornings? Absolutely. Breakfast comprised of four chocolate Pop-Tarts? Why not! My evenings were spent glued to the couch, indulging in reruns of Friends while munching on a bag of Doritos.
I wasn’t particularly unhappy with my body or fitness level, although my jeans consistently fit the “plus size” description, and I found myself winded after a short climb up the two flights of stairs to my apartment. At 25, I married Tom, a fitness enthusiast who had loved me for my couch potato lifestyle since we met at 18. Since he seemed content with my figure, I felt no urge to change.
When I turned 28, I welcomed my first daughter into the world, and the couch potato life felt suitable for a new mom. By 31, with the arrival of my second daughter, I found myself embarking on a new journey: training for my first half marathon.
During the initial stages of my training, I despised every single mile. Sure, I was doing this for myself—I had held onto a few extra pregnancy pounds from each of my daughters, and I was dangerously close to needing a bigger size than I’d ever worn before. But what truly motivated me were my girls. My eldest, now three, had an energy level I struggled to match, while her little sister was the most active baby I had ever encountered. I wanted to keep up with them and, more importantly, set a positive example as a strong, capable woman. When I wavered at mile ten on race day, it was their smiling faces on the sidelines that pushed me to keep going when I thought I couldn’t.
In conversations with my girls, “skinny” is never mentioned; instead, we talk about being “strong” and “healthy.” I avoid discussions about dieting or body image because they will face enough outside pressures soon enough.
At 33, I unexpectedly had a son. With a five-year-old, a toddler, and a newborn, life became even more chaotic. My husband had just launched a new business, and I was battling postpartum anxiety. It would have been easy to abandon running altogether, especially since I had already shown my girls what being strong looked like. I often felt overwhelmed, simply keeping all three kids safe and alive felt like a monumental task.
Yet, I realized I needed to set an example not just for my daughters, but for my son as well. He deserves to grow up understanding that strength and self-esteem are based on capabilities instead of appearances. I want him to admire someone who feels confident enough to join him in adventurous activities like rock climbing or mountain biking.
When he becomes a father, I hope he’ll encourage his daughters to play sports just as he would his sons. While many mothers focus on being role models for their daughters, we must remember that our sons need positive examples too. The views they form about relationships will undoubtedly be influenced by what we demonstrate.
Ultimately, I want all three of my children to understand the importance of health, to believe they can achieve anything, and to know that women can be strong and confident. And yes, I want them to enjoy that fourth chocolate Pop-Tart every now and then too.
This article was originally published on Oct. 4, 2014. For more insights on family and health, check out our post on the at-home insemination kit for a deeper understanding of starting a family. Additionally, for those navigating fertility treatments, resources from experts like Intracervical Insemination are invaluable. Lastly, Mount Sinai provides excellent resources regarding pregnancy and home insemination, which can be found here.
Summary:
Emily Carter reflects on her journey from a sedentary lifestyle to prioritizing her health, driven by the desire to be a strong role model for her children. Through the challenges of motherhood and personal struggles, she learned the importance of demonstrating strength and self-esteem, not just for her daughters but also for her son, fostering a healthy understanding of body image and physical capability.