Like many parents, I find joy in cooking dinner for my family each night. It’s a soothing way to unwind after a hectic day. While my kids aren’t interested in helping out in the kitchen, my partner uses this time to bond with them, allowing me a few moments of solitude.
After I finish cooking the main meal, I pull out three divided plastic plates, pondering what to serve my kids. Most nights, I can adapt parts of the meal to suit their tastes, but there are occasions when I end up preparing four distinct meals for my family of five.
I know that many parents strongly disagree with this approach. I’ve heard comments like, “I’m a mom, not a short-order cook. You eat what I make or go hungry.” That kind of firmness works for some families, and I respect that.
I previously followed a different method, enforcing rules like trying at least two bites of everything. If my kids were not keen on the meal, they could opt for simple alternatives I had approved. While I still believe that was a sound strategy, it eventually stopped working for us. I’ve had to adjust to meet my children’s current needs.
I’ve set aside my previous dinner rules for now, and I may not return to them. Here’s why making a single meal doesn’t suit my family at this moment, and perhaps you can relate.
1. Each of my three kids has unique dietary needs that I strive to meet.
My eldest is generally open to eating various foods, having outgrown his picky toddler phase. However, he grapples with a recurring gastrointestinal issue that causes him discomfort. My second child is autistic and struggles with food aversions related to textures and flavors. We must tread carefully; pushing him too hard can lead to prolonged periods of minimal eating. Finally, my youngest is just a year old and is currently at the bottom of the growth chart, so she needs to eat every night, regardless of her preferences.
2. Sometimes, I simply don’t want to eat what my children can tolerate.
With different food-related challenges among my kids, it’s hard to create a single meal that satisfies everyone. My partner and I are adults, and we often crave more variety than kid-friendly options offer.
3. I genuinely feel no frustration or resentment about cooking separate meals.
If I didn’t have valid reasons for making different meals, I might feel annoyed. But cooking is a joy for me, and I used to adhere to certain norms simply because I thought I should. Now, I realize there are countless ways to foster adventurous and healthy eating habits in my children.
4. I recognize the privilege involved in preparing multiple dinners.
I’m fortunate enough to have a range of nutritious foods available. Many parents around the globe go to bed hungry to ensure their children eat. I will not complain about the hassle of scrambling an egg or warming a quesadilla after preparing dinner. I’m grateful for the abundance of food that keeps my kids nourished and healthy.
5. I want my kids to understand that their preferences matter.
I believe in respecting my children’s choices regarding food. As adults, we have the autonomy to choose what we eat, and I want my kids to learn to listen to their bodies and preferences. A polite “no, thank you” is always acceptable. My partner and I have taught them that their refusals are firm, and I apply the same principle to mealtimes.
6. I don’t think they’ll miss out on essential lessons.
We educate our children about nutrition, the importance of trying new foods, and being polite when someone prepares a meal. We don’t insist they eat everything, but we do stress the value of sampling new dishes. They understand that if they decline food when we’re out, they may have to wait until we return to eat again.
My children are growing, and it’s likely they’ll develop broader tastes, much like their dad, who was once a picky eater. My older children often try new foods, possibly due to my willingness to prepare separate meals. For now, this is our approach, and I’m uncertain if I’ll ever revert to requiring everyone to eat the same dishes. As long as we’re gathered around the table, it doesn’t matter whose plate holds what.
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Summary:
This article discusses the author’s experience of preparing separate meals for her children, emphasizing the unique dietary needs of each child, the joy of cooking, and the importance of respecting personal food preferences. The author reflects on the privilege of having access to diverse foods and challenges the notion that all family members must eat the same meal. Ultimately, the approach fosters healthy eating habits and encourages open communication about food choices.