I can’t quite pinpoint whether it’s maturity, good fortune, or just plain luck, but I’ve serendipitously found myself surrounded by an incredible group of friends. These are the individuals who stand by me, offer unwavering support, and love me even on my toughest days. They keep my secrets, call me out when I’m slacking, and make me laugh until my sides ache. I often wonder what I did to earn such loyalty and affection, and I can’t help but feel immensely grateful.
Finding genuine friends isn’t as rare as finding a unicorn, yet the kind of loyalty I have now wasn’t always present in my life. I faced the brutal dynamics of middle school cliques, endured a few heartbreaks, and let go of friends I thought would always be around. I wouldn’t claim to have suffered an extraordinary amount of betrayal—no more than the average person—but after over 30 years of navigating life, I’ve developed a healthy skepticism towards trust.
Okay, maybe “trust issues” is a bit dramatic, but I definitely keep my guard up. Perhaps it’s because trust requires time and energy that I prefer not to waste on trivial matters. Maybe I’ve simply been burned too many times. Regardless of the reason, I’m just not interested in the games and drama that can come with opening up to new people, so I proceed with caution. To me, trust is something that must be earned; it’s not a given just because we’re friends. Building trust involves vulnerability, and while I appreciate transparency, I don’t let my defenses down easily.
I have plenty of acquaintances, but very few close friends. It’s not that I lack space in my life for more relationships; rather, true friendships demand time and commitment, and few can meet my standards of unconditional love, support, and trust. I know, it sounds rigorous—yet you’d be surprised how quickly individuals will jump ship the moment they see a benefit for themselves. I’m simply not here for that, and I can spot a disingenuous friend from a mile away, so don’t even try it, Lisa. I see through your act.
Some may label me as guarded, and they wouldn’t be wrong. However, I embrace this aspect of myself. I’m careful, selective, and deliberate about who I choose to surround myself with because our circles define us. I trust my instincts; if I sense someone may not be trustworthy, I heed that intuition because it’s usually spot on. It’s unfortunate, but some people are just not great.
Is this perspective a bit jaded? Perhaps. But life is too short for negativity, so I strive to cultivate only the good and purge the harmful. I fiercely protect my happiness and do my best to keep negative influences at bay. At my core, I’m a sensitive person who feels deeply. I take in everything—both the positive and the negative. Being highly sensitive can be both a blessing and a curse, as it means I’m constantly feeling…everything.
So yes, I have my walls. However, if you’re a genuine and kind person, those walls will come down easily. One negative action, though, and they’ll fortify tenfold. I’m not overly paranoid; I’m just cautious. Trust isn’t something I hand out like candy at a parade. It’s earned, and it’s cherished.
Everyone in my circle is there for a specific reason: they nourish my soul. There’s a beautiful mutual exchange of love, support, encouragement, and inspiration. We fit seamlessly into each other’s lives, without effort or expectation, and when we stumble or cause unintentional hurt, we acknowledge it and work to make amends.
There’s no room for dishonesty or deceit, and I would never betray their trust. When someone confides in you, they’re offering a piece of their heart, and they expect you to honor that gift.
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In summary, I cherish my small circle of friends because they enrich my life and offer the love and trust I value. In a world full of uncertainty, I prefer the solace of genuine connections, and I’m proud to keep my circle tight.