As a mother, I’ve developed my own “Mom Face.” It’s a natural expression that surfaces when my kids ask a question or exhibit a behavior that takes me by surprise. This expression conveys an air of calmness, even when I’m grappling with complicated issues. I want my children to feel comfortable asking me anything, but there are certain topics that I find challenging to address.
The turmoil of 2020 brought forth numerous difficult discussions—racism, the pandemic, and the political climate. Now, with ongoing political events in 2021, it seems like these conversations are only becoming more complex.
Last November, just before the presidential election, my daughter burst through the door excitedly proclaiming, “I’m going to be the first girl president of the United States!” After a long day at work, all I wanted was to get through our evening routine. However, her enthusiasm was infectious. Her sparkling brown eyes reflected a sense of wonder that only a five-year-old, unaware of the intricacies of our political system, could possess.
She eagerly asked me to read a book her cousin sent for her birthday. The story follows a young girl who realizes that all presidents have been men. Frustrated, she decides to become the next girl president. The book does an excellent job of explaining the electoral process, ultimately inspiring my daughter to envision herself in that role, especially when the heroine’s image is immortalized on Mount Rushmore.
However, the book neglects to dive into the “why.” Why have all the presidents been men until now? That question came up shortly after we finished reading. “Why haven’t we had a girl president in America yet?”
That was a tough one to tackle. With my Mom Face on, I provided the simplest explanation I could muster: “Some men believed women couldn’t or shouldn’t be president, and even after women were allowed to run, none have won.”
Even now, I struggle to articulate the complexities of sexism and misogyny in a way that’s suitable for her young mind. “It was a different time” can explain past injustices, but what about today? The stark reality remains that, despite qualified women in political positions, no female president has emerged.
I could tell from her expression that my answer sounded harsh. In her little world, she sees strong women who excel in their careers, care for families, and support one another. In her eyes, women can accomplish anything that men can.
I’ve always told her that achieving her dreams requires hard work. Yet, we have yet to discuss the barriers she may face. I often find myself reflecting on the moments I’ve been overlooked or dismissed due to my gender or race, but articulating these hurdles to her feels daunting.
Fortunately, with the recent election, we celebrated the appointment of our first female Vice President. For the first time, I genuinely believe we might be inching closer to witnessing a female president. When my daughter asks if she can be the first girl president, I don’t just respond out of maternal instinct; I can confidently affirm, “Yes, if you want it, you can be the first girl president.”
As I watch my half-Pakistani, half-European daughter grow up in central Texas, I know she will face challenges, but I want her to dream big. I aspire to instill in her the belief that nothing can hold her back.
For now, I intend to set aside my worries and continue to encourage her aspirations. She is at a stage where she understands enough, and there will be ample time in life to learn about challenges and obstacles. While I hope she becomes the first girl president, I would actually be thrilled if another little girl beats her to it; we shouldn’t have to wait another 30 years for equal representation.
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Summary
Navigating the complexities of gender representation in politics with my daughter has proven challenging. While I want her to dream big and aspire to be the first female president, I also recognize the hurdles she may face in a world that has historically favored men. I hope she can achieve her dreams while also wishing that another girl paves the way before her.