Growing up in the late ’80s and early ’90s was a different experience. Cell phones were nonexistent, and my parents often had no clue where I was. Concepts like “helicopter parenting” were not part of the conversation. Back then, it wasn’t unusual for a shopkeeper, another parent, or even a stranger to step in and tell us kids to behave when we were acting out. And they never felt the need to apologize to my parents for it. Generally, we listened, and I believe that helped keep many of us from making worse choices—at least some of us.
Not long ago, at a local park, a woman approached me and expressed her regret for having to correct my son. He had been pushing her daughter, and she felt compelled to intervene while I was distracted with my daughter, who had fallen and was crying near the swings. I appreciated her honesty and assured her that she was actually helping me. I was the one who needed to apologize, but most importantly, my son did too. If she hadn’t addressed his behavior, he might have thought his actions were acceptable and continued down that path.
I think most parents would agree that if they’re nearby, they might take issue with someone else disciplining their child. We don’t need to be overly protective of one another, but there are certainly moments when speaking up is necessary—and it can be done respectfully without yelling at a child.
If I witness a child—regardless of age—engaging in harmful behavior, or simply being rude, I believe in stepping in. I expect the same from other adults. So please, if my child is disrespectful, feel free to address it. If he’s unkind to your child, don’t hesitate to ask him to apologize. And if my child is vandalizing your property, you have every right to call him out on it.
The saying “it takes a village to raise a child” resonates deeply with me. As our kids grow, having more than one set of eyes on them becomes vital. When children know that adults are watching and paying attention, they become more mindful of their actions and words. I certainly was. Different adults can impart various lessons, and I welcome that for my kids. I want them to develop respect for others and an awareness of the consequences of their actions. How can this happen if no one speaks up due to fear of offending a parent?
Every child, no matter how well-behaved, will try on their “bad behavior” at some point, often out of sight of their parents. If we’re fortunate, some adults will notice and call them out. This doesn’t mean those kids are inherently bad; even good kids can stumble. Ideally, feeling embarrassed for being caught will deter them from repeating the same mistake.
So, if I see a child on the verge of making a poor choice, if they’re hurting others or themselves, I will certainly intervene. However, if it’s merely a matter of personal preference, I’ll refrain from interfering because I respect boundaries. Thankfully, there were times when I pushed limits as a child, and kind-hearted adults stepped in to guide me back on track.
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In summary, encouraging community involvement in raising children can foster accountability and respect among kids. By allowing other adults to address misbehavior, we create a safer and more responsible environment for everyone.