There are countless reasons my kids find me utterly cringeworthy. Whether I’m belting out “Take On Me” during carpool with my preteen and her pals or shouting “I adore you!” from the car window at drop-off, I’m not exactly winning the “cool mom” award. But my most egregious offense? My penchant for chatting with strangers. Constantly. Especially when my kids are along for the ride.
It doesn’t matter if someone is young or old, male or female, or even a friendly dog—I’m always ready to engage. I’ll initiate conversations about anything and everything: the latest weather update, a book someone’s reading, or the challenges of keeping a toddler contained in a shopping cart.
At restaurants, I often ask the folks at the next table for their food recommendations. I chat with the bank security personnel about our local teams, discuss dog breeds with the UPS delivery driver, and swap mango recipes with the cashier at Trader Joe’s. I even stop to have brief chats with people experiencing homelessness, and when my kids are with me, they have to pause too.
Their sighs and eye rolls are hard to miss. They give me that all-too-familiar expression that says, “Mom, you’re being super awkward. Can we leave now?” I feign ignorance to their discomfort and gently pull them into the conversation. A simple “Right, buddy?” usually does the trick. Before long, they’re nodding along, engaging with the stranger, and maybe even cracking a smile. They’re making connections.
In a world plagued by negativity—violence, racism, sexism, and so much more—talking to strangers feels like a small act of rebellion against the gloom. Engaging with someone, even for a moment, allows us to see the goodness that exists in us all. A smile is an invitation to reciprocate. By simply asking, “How’s it going?” we can bridge the gap in this often lonely world. We all want to feel connected and share the best versions of ourselves, but sometimes we just don’t know how to start. Talking to strangers is a simple way to do just that, and more often than not, it’s met with warmth and kindness. It reaffirms my faith in humanity, challenges stereotypes, and deepens my connection to those around me. I want my kids to feel that too.
We often find ourselves wrapped up in our own lives, lost in thought or glued to our screens. We hide behind sunglasses or the brims of our hats, walking through life with purpose, standing in lines impatiently, or flipping through magazines. We wear that distant, vacant expression, signaling that we’re too preoccupied to notice the people around us, eager to move on with our “important” tasks.
Of course, there are times when we truly want to get on with our day without distractions or simply aren’t in the mood for small talk. I can usually tell when someone is not up for a chat—they might avoid eye contact or ignore my friendly smile. It’s vital to respect those boundaries, and I make sure my kids recognize these signals too.
For those concerned that teaching my children to engage with strangers might lead to dangerous situations, let me reassure you: I coach my kids on how to navigate these interactions safely. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, less than one percent of missing children are abducted by strangers. While there is some risk involved in talking to unfamiliar faces, I don’t want my kids to live in fear of everyone they encounter on the street. They know not to go off with anyone and to trust their instincts. If something feels off, it probably is. They aren’t being rude if they choose not to respond to every hello or smile, and they definitely shouldn’t engage with inappropriate comments.
Yes, there are individuals out there with harmful intentions, but I firmly believe that the majority are just like us—looking for connection. When I compliment someone’s adorable puppy or their funky shoes, it’s like flipping a switch. Their demeanor brightens, and the smiles emerge. That’s the beauty of being human. We all crave connection, even if it’s just a fleeting interaction with a stranger in yoga pants juggling kids at the car wash.
So yes, my dear children, I will unabashedly continue to embarrass you with my enthusiastic ’80s pop singalongs in front of your friends, my daily declarations of love, and my eager conversations with strangers. And I expect you to join me in this delightful pursuit.
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In summary, teaching my kids to engage with strangers fosters connection in a world that often feels disconnected. It helps them develop social skills, recognize good people, and build their confidence.