Recently, a little boy in the backseat of my van eagerly asked his mother if he could come over to play. His reason? “Because they have an XBox!” We shared a laugh, but I couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction. My plan to create a welcoming space for kids is clearly working.
When children come to my house, they dive into adventures on Minecraft or Lego Star Wars in the playroom, sometimes for hours. If the weather permits, I encourage outdoor exploration—whether they’re attempting parkour off the deck steps or sledding down the slide. Snacks and juice are always available, and I choose to overlook harmless potty talk and silly jokes, like the frequent use of “booger.”
Of course, I have guidelines. My son must remove his glasses during pillow fights, no one can harm my two-year-old daughter, and Nerf guns are strictly for inanimate targets. Kindness is a must.
As my daughter grows, I’ll expand this environment to include her friends. Her play tent will be filled with Barbies, American Girl dolls, or superheroes, depending on their preferences. The kinetic sand will never run low, and I’ll happily indulge young girls who want to experiment with play makeup or belt out karaoke tunes. Unkindness will not be tolerated.
Why do I adopt this seemingly permissive approach? It’s not about being lenient; it’s about creating a safe haven with thoughtful boundaries. Sure, there’s Minecraft, but not games like Call of Duty. Video games are welcome as long as they promote collaboration and communication, but silent movie-watching is not encouraged. While snacks lean towards the healthier side, I allow minor treats like Hershey kisses or microwave popcorn. My goal is to provide a fun, enjoyable environment without it becoming chaotic.
So, why do I want to attract a crowd of kids? One day, they’ll grow into teenagers seeking freedom and independence. They’ll want to express themselves, enjoy their music, and engage in their hobbies. I want them to feel comfortable doing those things at my place. By establishing this foundation now, I can adapt as their interests evolve. I envision having video game consoles, a large TV, and even spaces for band equipment. Eventually, I’ll introduce them to technology—safeguarded with parental controls, of course, but ones they understand.
Rules will still exist but will remain reasonable and manageable. They’ll be able to enjoy games like Madden football, while Grand Theft Auto will not be on the table. They can listen to their music, but I’ll engage them in discussions about lyrics and the artists behind them. The same applies to movies and the Internet. I’ll encourage independence by allowing them to serve themselves snacks and clean up afterward. They will have the freedom to use language that expresses their emotions, but slurs and hateful speech will not be tolerated in my home. If I hear any disrespectful language, I’ll ensure they understand why it’s unacceptable.
I will have birth control accessible, and I won’t pry into their lives if supplies run low. I want teens to prioritize safe practices. While I won’t be a full-on informant to other parents, I’ll maintain transparency about any significant issues.
Ultimately, I want both my kids and yours close by. By providing a blend of freedom and structure, I can keep them safe. I understand that not every parent will appreciate a setting where pizza is abundant and colorful language is allowed, but I believe these elements can foster trust and comfort in my home.
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In summary, by fostering a welcoming environment, I aim to provide a safe space for children to grow and express themselves, ensuring they feel valued and understood both now and in the future.