My two-year-old, Alex, sat with a blank expression as he flipped through a magazine. I had never seen him look so lost before, and it was startling. Then I read aloud a line that struck him: “This baby skunk lost its mother.” The weight of that simple statement seemed to hang in the air. Alex had never considered the idea of losing a parent, even in a fictional context. Despite his bright disposition, this moment revealed a new layer of understanding he wasn’t yet equipped to articulate. So, I just held him close.
This experience marks the beginning of deeper conversations about life, loss, and empathy. As my children grow, they will inevitably encounter the harsh realities of the world. While my family is fortunate—two white boys from an upper-middle-class household, with both parents present and no significant struggles—we acknowledge that not every child shares this privilege.
There are children in the world who face racism, prejudice, and hardship daily. Kids from LGBTQ families may experience discrimination against their parents, while children with disabilities quickly learn about society’s unkindness. Those living in poverty are all too familiar with the anxiety of financial instability. Even in my own childhood, my mother made it a point to remind me of our privileges, contrasting our life with those who had far less. This understanding is far more impactful than the vague admonition to “eat your food because others are starving.”
We aim to foster empathy in our kids, believing it cannot flourish in a bubble of ignorance. If parents fail to challenge the societal prejudices that permeate our lives, children will inevitably absorb those biases. While attempting to shield our kids, we might unwittingly allow harmful ideologies to seep in.
Moreover, we want our children to observe how their father and I embody our values. It’s easy to mistakenly think our actions only have positive effects. We strive to show them why we support local farmers and companies that pay fair wages. Ignoring the broader context of our choices only contributes to the societal issues we face today.
By exposing them to the negative, we can also highlight the positive. As Fred Rogers famously advised, during tough times, “Look for the helpers.” Our children will inevitably encounter distressing news as they grow up. With the constant flow of media, the bad can sometimes feel all-consuming. If we prepare them now, they’ll be equipped to recognize and join those who strive to make a difference.
This doesn’t mean we share every piece of grim news daily. For instance, even as a passionate advocate for climate justice, I haven’t yet broached the topic of climate change with my five-year-old. It’s simply too overwhelming at this stage. Similarly, I chose not to discuss the family separations at the border, knowing it could give my older son nightmares. Instead, we engage in thoughtful discussions about difficult topics when the time is right.
Even when we try to look away, pain and injustice exist in our world. I was caught off guard when Highlights magazine introduced my toddler to the concept of loss, but I welcome the opportunity for dialogue. Even if it’s just a baby skunk searching for its mother, it opens the door for deeper conversations.
By facing these issues head-on, we hope to raise compassionate and aware individuals who understand that the world is a complex place, full of both challenges and hope.
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Summary
I believe in preparing my children for the realities of life, including the existence of bad news and injustice. Rather than shielding them from harsh truths, I want to foster empathy and understanding. This approach not only helps them appreciate their privileges but also equips them to recognize and act against societal issues.