Critics gonna criticize, but here’s the truth: I don’t impose a screen time limit on my four-year-old. Sure, I’m aware of the guidelines, but I find them to be a bit exaggerated.
Let me clarify: I do restrict certain content—no violence, swearing, or inappropriate themes, as well as avoiding toy unboxing videos and Blippi. However, I don’t cap the time he spends in front of the screen. To be honest, my son doesn’t even watch that much—maybe an hour on weekdays, divided between before and after preschool, and a bit more during the weekends. He often doesn’t even ask to watch anything. I believe this is because we’ve never made screen time a forbidden treasure. Conventional wisdom suggests that tightening the reins makes children desire it even more. He usually watches for a bit before asking to ride his bike, work on an art project, or just play. For now, screens don’t hold him captive, and if that changes, we can reassess.
When he does watch, he’s not just zoning out. He’s engaged, glancing up now and then to check the color of Goofy’s hat while he draws. He rushes to grab books about sea creatures when Captain Barnacles from The Octonauts mentions cuttlefish. He even asks about particles and light waves after watching Ask the StoryBots explain why the sky is blue. For him, screen time is an interactive adventure, not a mind-numbing experience. Even while enjoying the delightful Mickey Mouse shorts, he questions characters’ feelings or identifies objects like tollbooths and roller skates. The main goal of parenting is to teach kids about the world and how to navigate it—why can’t the glowing box in our living rooms contribute to that?
Many parents can recite the American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines, which state that children under two should avoid screens altogether, and those older should be limited to an hour per day. I respect science; I’m not one of those parents who believes questionable information from social media over established research. Studies show that toddlers struggle to learn from screens because they don’t perceive what they see as part of reality. In one study, toddlers who watched a video of a toy being hidden in another room were unable to find it when taken there—almost none connected the video to real life. But when the TV looked like a window, they easily located the toy. For toddlers, TV is fake, while a window is real.
Given this understanding, it’s fair to think that time spent watching screens doesn’t contribute to their intellectual development. However, I don’t believe that occasional viewing is detrimental or deprives a child of growth. Research indicates that co-viewing with an adult can enhance a child’s ability to learn from what they watch. This applies not just to educational content. When watching a film like Finding Nemo, a parent can help the child interpret emotions or identify real-world concepts, which is also a form of learning. It’s why my son exclaimed, “Whoa, big ocean!” when he saw the Atlantic for the first time.
The panic over screen time feels like just another moral scare. In the past, it was working moms or violent video games; now, it’s about screens ruining childhood. It’s astonishing how parents are always perceived as failing. If your toddler watches a movie during a flight, you’re not ruining them. If your almost-two-year-old enjoys the calming narration of David Attenborough while you prepare for work, that’s perfectly okay.
While I find the argument “I watched a lot of TV as a kid and turned out fine” questionable, I believe we should aim higher than just “fine.” I see screen time as a tool aiding my child’s curiosity and wisdom, not hindering it. My approach to screen time mirrors my philosophy on intuitive eating. If children learn that food isn’t something to be anxious about, they develop a healthy relationship with it. They learn moderation naturally, and you can’t impose that understanding on them; they must explore it independently.
If you feel comfortable with the AAP’s guidelines, that’s great. If your kids struggle to detach from the screen and require limits, that’s also great—you know what works for your child. My point is that aside from serious issues like medical decisions, each parent should do what feels right for their unique situation. For me, that means focusing on real challenges in my son’s life, like dealing with a schoolmate who thinks blue is for boys and pink for girls (thanks, Jake) or helping him navigate his food allergies (good luck explaining that to a four-year-old who wants a donut). Parenting is challenging enough without adding unnecessary stress over something that has positively influenced my child’s growth. I would rather cuddle up with him and explore mudskippers, learn about how the human ear functions, or discover what Saturn’s rings are made of, all while enjoying the peace of not treating every parenting decision as a life-or-death scenario.
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Summary
In this article, I discuss my perspective on not imposing screen time limits on my child, emphasizing the importance of engagement and learning rather than strict regulations. I argue that occasional screen time can be beneficial when accompanied by active participation and interpretation from parents. The goal is to foster curiosity and understanding in children rather than viewing screens solely as detrimental. By focusing on what truly matters in parenting, I aim to create a balanced environment for my child.