We’ve all heard that labels don’t matter anymore; that we’re all unique individuals carving our own paths. But despite this modern mantra, I find myself bristling at the term “girlfriend.”
In my mid-30s and with him in his mid-50s—an 18-year age gap—it’s a bit perplexing to be classified with such a juvenile label. We’ve both experienced marriage before, so this isn’t new territory for us. We’re adults who have chosen not to tie the knot… at least, not yet. When we refer to one another, “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” are what we revert to, and it feels utterly out of place. We’ve had lengthy discussions over dinner about this very topic.
Who Am I Supposed to Be?
Who am I supposed to be? A teenager with a curfew? A college student cramming for finals? He’s certainly not a wide-eyed kid trying to sneak me into the back seat of his car (he’s got a motorcycle instead, which is a different kind of appeal).
I’m definitely not a girl; I’m a grown woman wanting something more fitting. We’ve made attempts at alternative titles. When I’ve called Mark my “partner,” people have assumed I’m a lesbian. There’s nothing wrong with that label, but it’s not accurate, leading to some awkward conversations.
“Significant other” feels too clinical, almost robotic. “This is Mark, my significant other. Yes, I love him. He’s significant.” It just doesn’t work. At times, I’ve let repairmen and nosy neighbors think we’re married, despite our different last names and the glaring absence of rings. When the moment comes, he’d better propose because I’m ready to celebrate like Beyoncé.
Exploring Alternative Labels
“Lady friend” or “gentleman friend” sounds borderline risqué, and while I’m not against a little fun, it doesn’t suit the formality of office parties or parent-teacher meetings.
He sometimes calls me “Sweetheart,” which makes me blush (don’t judge), but if I tried to refer to him as “Big Daddy,” it would definitely raise some eyebrows—my mother would faint, my kids would have far too many questions, and his colleagues might jump to conclusions.
We aren’t a sugar daddy and sugar baby duo either—if you’re unclear about that, a quick Google search will enlighten you, just make sure the kids aren’t around!
The Dilemma of Labels
Ultimately, we keep returning to “girlfriend” and “boyfriend,” a label that makes me cringe. Our options boil down to two: learn to live with it or get married. Since we’re navigating our own timeline, rushing into marriage just for a different label seems unnecessary.
So, we could try to get over it—until he introduces me as his girlfriend again, prompting me to consider a primal scream that could be heard around the globe.
Someone really needs to create a new term for couples like us—those of us navigating this peculiar stage of life, balancing past relationships, new loves, and no immediate desire to get married just for the sake of a label.
Resources for Similar Paths
For those exploring similar paths, check out this article on home insemination kits for further insights. If you’re interested in understanding the intricacies of fertility, this resource is invaluable. Also, for insights regarding genetic factors, you might want to explore BRCA gene resources.
In summary, while we might be in a unique relationship dynamic, the labels we use don’t quite fit, and there’s a need for something new that reflects our reality.