As a child, I often found myself envious of classmates whose mothers were actively involved in school activities—those who volunteered for art projects, chaperoned field trips, or surprise-visited during lunch to add extra treats to their bags. My mother, however, was a single parent who dedicated her life to us in different, yet equally profound ways.
If circumstances had allowed, she would have participated in all those school events. Yet, her sick days were exclusively reserved for when her children were unwell. As a special education teacher, she spent her days nurturing students, and then poured her energy into raising two vibrant, sensitive daughters. Time was a luxury she simply couldn’t afford.
This wasn’t the life she envisioned. As a young girl, she dreamt of having eight children, filled with excitement about the joys of motherhood. Her vision was one of carefree days filled with creativity, reading, and play—a stark contrast to the reality she faced. She had hoped for a partner who would provide stability as she cared for the family, but my father, despite his kindness, ultimately couldn’t fulfill that role. He pursued his own ambitions, leaving her to shoulder the parenting responsibilities.
Their separation occurred shortly after my younger sister was born. I later learned that during the first 18 months of my sister’s life, my mother relied heavily on the sale of their condo and assistance from the government and family. She yearned to be present for my sister’s early milestones just as she had been for me. Even when she returned to work, financial strain lingered, and it took a decade for her to achieve true independence. We had the essentials, but not much beyond that.
Now entering my eighth year as a full-time mother to my two sons, I feel fortunate. While the journey can be long and at times isolating, I cherish every moment. I don’t overlook the significance of my husband’s return home after a long day; I am grateful to have partnered with someone who shares my family values. Financially, we face challenges too, but we navigate them together. My upbringing taught me the importance of parental presence over material wealth.
I recognize that not every family aspires to the traditional setup we have. Many women seek careers outside the home, and for some families, a single income isn’t feasible. I’m truly appreciative of the choice I have to either work or stay at home. But above all, I am thankful for my mother. Despite the trials we faced, she was my steadfast support. Her dedication during those challenging years shaped the woman and mother I am today. I always knew she would be there for me, offering stability amidst the chaos of our upbringing.
Now, as she enjoys retirement after two decades of teaching, she remains a pillar of support. She readily comes over to help with my boys, which sometimes makes me feel guilty, knowing that she had very little assistance in her own parenting journey. Yet, she finds joy in being with us.
I want my children to experience her in this relaxed phase of her life. I hope they remember the sound of her laughter, the way she strummed her guitar, and how she could play with them with pure joy. I want them to inherit her strength, her resilience, and most importantly, her unconditional love.
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In summary, my mother’s unwavering support and dedication have shaped my life in immeasurable ways. I am profoundly grateful for her love and the lessons she imparted, which continue to resonate in my own parenting journey.