In my 20s and early 30s, birthday celebrations were grand, raucous events filled with friends dancing and mingling in crowded bars. I recall these gatherings with a sense of nostalgia, much like one reminisces about a wild yet ultimately unsustainable romance: exhilarating at the time, but ultimately fraught with anxiety. It’s this very apprehension that leads me to refrain from posting my birthday on social media.
I’m not concerned with revealing the year of my birth—these days, few people list their birth year on their profiles. What I avoid sharing is the actual date. For my Facebook connections, July 10 is just another day during that sweltering week following the Fourth of July, when everyone is lamenting the heat and the fleeting summer.
Those extravagant parties I used to throw turned out to be much more stressful than I had envisioned. I would send out invites, only to dread the thought of no one attending. Each decline felt like a personal blow, and I often found myself splitting my time between enjoying the festivities and feeling let down by friends who promised to show but didn’t. The sheer number of acquaintances from different phases of my life squeezed into one space was overwhelming—too many introductions, too many expectations, and not enough time to genuinely relax. Instead of celebrating, I ended up fretting.
I recognize why many revel in their birthday shout-outs on platforms like Facebook. I’m not one to scoff at the seemingly hollow “Happy Birthday” messages from old friends or distant relatives. There’s undeniable joy in being acknowledged, receiving an abundance of well-wishes, amusing graphics, and cake memes all dedicated to you.
However, for me, the social media frenzy surrounding my birthday only adds to the stress on a day that should be about enjoyment. I no longer host parties; the logistics of coordinating a crowd transform what should be a fun experience into a taxing obligation. Even the simple influx of birthday messages can create a sense of pressure.
It’s not merely about feeling compelled to thank everyone for their virtual wishes—though that’s a small burden in itself. It’s the flood of memories that those messages stir up: recollections of nursery school friends, summer camp, university days, old jobs, and past relationships. Each message compels me to reflect on my life’s journey, and that can be overwhelming.
Thus, I opt not to share my birth date online. It’s not that I dislike people or don’t value my friends; I simply prefer to skip the social media fanfare on my special day.
Last week, on my birthday, I chose to sleep in, enjoy an iced coffee, exercise, and share a lovely lunch and dinner with family and friends. There were no extravagant parties or gifts, and no unexpected messages from old acquaintances popping up in my life. A handful of dear friends reached out, and I was genuinely pleased to hear from them. I had no expectations, no obligations, just the bliss of being present and enjoying a calm, uncomplicated day.
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In summary, I prefer to keep my birthday a low-key affair, steering clear of social media’s pressures. Instead, I savor the quiet moments and genuine connections that make my day special without the added stress of public celebration.