I frequently come across a prevailing piece of advice on social media: interrupting someone with your own story is seen as incredibly rude. The guidance suggests that when someone is sharing a challenging experience or expressing deep emotions, the appropriate response is to remain silent, offering only nods and sympathetic expressions. The emphasis is on ensuring the conversation centers solely on the other person.
Every time I encounter this advice, I feel frustrated by its lack of depth. Can we collectively agree that overly simplistic advice like this should be discarded? It’s troubling how eager people are to categorize interactions into two extremes: you either listen quietly or you share your own story and become the enemy.
Let’s be clear: while we don’t want to overshadow a friend’s sharing, interjecting during a conversation can be both acceptable and natural. The exchange of similar experiences is a fundamental aspect of human communication. People often seek validation and connection, wanting to know they are not alone in their feelings.
For instance, when I confided in friends about experiencing childhood trauma and they responded with their own similar experiences, I didn’t feel like they were detracting from my narrative. Instead, I felt a sense of solidarity. Sharing frustrations about parenting with other parents who relate to my struggles creates a supportive environment where I know I’m not isolated in my challenges.
In an essay I encountered on Medium, the author praised their physical therapist for asking questions and showing interest. However, this is not a typical conversation; it’s a therapeutic context where the professional’s role is to focus on the client. Suggesting that casual conversations mirror this dynamic is misguided.
Moreover, the advice to simply “stay quiet and listen” can unintentionally come off as exclusionary. Not everyone is neurotypical or comfortable with silence. Some individuals, particularly those with autism or ADHD, may find it difficult to refrain from sharing their experiences. Additionally, many cultures embrace a conversational style that includes interruptions and shared narratives, which should not be deemed rude. For example, my friend Mateo’s family from Brazil often engages in lively discussions where overlapping dialogue is the norm.
Personally, if someone doesn’t share their relatable experience during my story, I can’t help but think they’re bored or disinterested. It amplifies my anxiety. I genuinely appreciate when others chime in with their own anecdotes, reinforcing the essence of conversation: building connections through shared experiences. If I wanted a monologue focused solely on me, I would simply consult a therapist.
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