For nearly a decade, I’ve been living in a haze of exhaustion. Honestly, I’ve lost track of how many years it’s been, but like many parents, I find myself in a constant state of sleep deprivation. It’s a miracle we function at all, right?
When our kids are infants, we’re perpetually tired because babies don’t care about our need for sleep — we’re now on their schedule. Yet, amidst the fatigue, we cling to hope. “Once the baby sleeps through the night, I’ll finally get some rest,” we tell ourselves, blissfully naive.
Well, my youngest is now 4 years old, and I’m still waiting for that refreshing slumber.
I start feeling drowsy around 6:30 PM, but the to-do list is endless — dinner prep, cleaning, homework help, baths, and the bedtime routine. There’s no way I can consider going to bed early. I push through the tiredness, completing all necessary tasks while exhaustion sets in. By the time the kids are nestled in their beds, the circles under my eyes are so large they could have their own postal code. My husband, however, offers the oh-so-helpful suggestion: “Just go to bed.” And off he goes, slipping under the covers and snoring within minutes.
I envy his ability to ‘just’ go to bed, to simply switch off and actually follow through. I, on the other hand, find it nearly impossible.
Every evening, I promise myself, “Tonight, I will get some real rest!” Yet the moment I head toward the bedroom, a series of distractions ensue. It typically unfolds like this:
- I ascend the stairs, ready to sleep, only to remember I might have forgotten to lock the front door. Down I go.
- Passing the bathroom, I spot a pile of clothes I missed while gathering laundry (because apparently, using the hamper is a foreign concept to my family). I take those clothes to the laundry room.
- I see my son’s favorite T-shirt, knowing he’ll want to wear it tomorrow, prompting me to start a load of laundry. I assure myself I’ll head to bed right after.
- The dog’s water bowl is empty, so I refill it.
- What’s that smell? Oh right, it’s the trash. I can’t have that greeting me in the morning, so I haul it to the garage and replace the bag.
- While locating my grocery list, I realize we’re low on trash bags. What else did I forget? Oh! A can of hair spray.
- Oh no, the canned food drive at school! I rummage through the pantry, stuffing cans into backpacks.
- As I set the backpacks by the front door, I remember I still need to sign my son’s homework folder. Better do that now to avoid forgetting in the morning.
- I check the front door lock — the very reason I came downstairs. Now, I’m really going to bed.
- Wait, did I lock the back door?
- On my way to check that, I trip over one of my kid’s shoes. I should probably find the other one to avoid a frantic morning search.
- While searching for the missing shoe, I step on something sticky. Off I go to get paper towels, realizing I need to grab a new roll from the laundry room. I notice the wash cycle has only 10 minutes left, so I decide to find something to do in the meantime.
- I clean up the mess and figure I might as well unload the dishwasher while I wait.
- I might as well pack the kids’ lunches too, getting ahead for tomorrow. The washer buzzes, but I finish making sandwiches first.
- When I finally go to put the laundry in the dryer, I discover there’s already a load in there wrinkling. I can’t let that go, especially since my husband has work shirts in there.
- I fold the laundry and decide to lay out the kids’ clothes for school.
- Finally, I’m actually going to bed. I mean, after I brush my teeth, wash my face, and apply wrinkle cream that promises to make me look well-rested. Oh, the irony.
Despite my exhaustion, I often find myself wide awake as soon as my head hits the pillow. So, I think, “I’ll just check my emails quickly,” which spirals into a rabbit hole of Pinterest and Facebook, reading articles and taking quizzes like “Which Character from My Favorite Show Are You?”
Meanwhile, my husband snores beside me, sounding like he’s trying to inhale the curtains, making it even harder to catch some sleep. And then it hits me: didn’t we just receive a notice about our cable payment being overdue? Maybe I should check that…
In this whirlwind of parenting and endless tasks, sleep remains elusive. If you find yourself in a similar situation, you’re not alone. For more insights on managing parenting fatigue, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
The struggle to find time for rest as a parent often leads to a chaotic evening routine filled with distractions. Despite the exhaustion, many parents find themselves unable to simply go to bed due to a never-ending list of tasks and responsibilities.