I just picked up my daughter from another birthday party—her umpteenth of the year. She dashed toward the car with a skip in her step that I hadn’t seen in ages. The reason? At this gathering, the host mom had given each girl stunning 14-karat gold initial necklaces. Naturally, this gift outshined the one we provided for the birthday child, as well as the present I gave my daughter for her own birthday. As I drove home, gripping the steering wheel at 10 and 2, I fantasized about what I would do if I had an opportunity to confront that mother.
Honestly, I’ve never dedicated much time to thinking about birthday party gift bags. In fact, I strongly resent the expectation of giving other kids gifts for my child’s birthday. For my son’s last celebration, I casually grabbed eight candy bars from the Target checkout just 10 minutes before the party started, tossed them in a bowl, and allowed each child to pick one on their way out. I felt quite accomplished for my quick-thinking under pressure.
While I’m not a fan of cheap trinkets from discount stores mixed with last year’s Halloween leftovers, it seems that some parents have taken this to an absurd level. Here are just a few outrageous examples I’ve witnessed:
- Monogrammed golf balls and a metal putter at a putt-putt course party.
- A gumball machine filled to the brim (and yes, the kid’s dad was a dentist—talk about irony!).
- Monogrammed sunglasses, a T-shirt, and a makeup-filled purse for a “Rock Star VIP party,” complete with a red carpet featuring the birthday girl’s name and a team of paparazzi.
- A live fish in a plastic bag (which led to a frantic Sunday search for a proper fish bowl, food, and toys—because that little guy deserved a good home too).
- A Pottery Barn canvas tote packed with flip-flops, sunscreen, and a monogrammed towel for a beach-themed party.
- A $32 box of sand art that left me shaking my head in disbelief. This mom is now firmly on my “do not invite” list.
Let’s be honest: these extravagant favors are more about impressing other parents than about the joy of sharing with kids. We’re all part of this “keeping up with the Joneses” game, and I can just picture Mrs. Jones relaxing on a private island, sipping her drink, wondering how to make the rest of us feel inadequate.
Here’s a thought: if impressing others is the goal, why not send the kids home with gifts for their parents instead? Imagine a stylish purse filled with mini bottles of wine or a subscription to a Wine of the Month club. How about offering some Advil and a gift card for a pedicure as a thank-you for braving the chaos of birthday parties? Until then, let’s dial it back. Our children will be just as thrilled at your child’s petting zoo party (the giraffe was a hit) while enjoying food-truck tacos and gluten-free cake—even without a gift of their own.
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In summary, the current trend of extravagant birthday party favors is more about showcasing parental status than celebrating children. It’s time to rethink this practice and focus on creating joyful experiences without the pressure of competing with other parents.