When older generations (like my peers) grumble about texting, I hear nothing but noise. They argue that it lacks tone, can be easily misinterpreted, and feels too transactional. Ironically, that transactional quality is exactly what makes texting so appealing to me.
Need to ask another parent if they can handle pick-up? I can do that in just four words: “Can you do pick-up?” (Five if I include a polite “please.”) Back in the day, making a phone call would involve a lengthy preamble before I could even get to my request. While some may enjoy that, I much prefer the efficiency of texting. Recently, I’ve discovered another reason to love it: it keeps me connected to my college freshman who has recently left home.
I’ve always had a strong aversion to phone calls. To me, the phone is often abused as a way for people to ramble on without purpose. I tend to have a wandering mind, which doesn’t lend itself well to conversations that lack visual cues. There are often awkward pauses when I’m distracted by mundane chores, like scraping cheese off the counter, while trying to engage in a serious conversation.
I can handle a call from my 18-year-old son, but it’s often challenging. As he skateboards around campus, I can barely focus on his explanation of a calculus quiz amidst the background noise. He often says I only catch about 30% of what he shares—truthfully, it’s more like 18%. Still, I cherish hearing his voice and laugh, even when I can’t comprehend everything he says.
What truly keeps me from feeling lost in his absence are our text exchanges. Admittedly, many of them are simple requests for money or transportation, echoing our past interactions. He might ramble about various topics, and I’ll respond with a firm “no,” reminiscent of old times.
Occasionally, he surprises me by ending a text with an emoji, like a heart. This gesture is particularly special since I haven’t heard him say “I love you” since he was in second grade. Back then, he quickly learned to dodge my affectionate words. I never expected more than a thumbs-up or an odd emoji combo, so seeing him send a big red heart—requiring a different keyboard altogether—is a delightful surprise. It’s screenshot-worthy, just in case I need proof!
However, those heartwarming messages aren’t a daily occurrence. What happens more frequently are our brief, casual conversations reminiscent of our morning chats before school. They’re quick, straightforward, and to the point.
Our back-and-forths are raw and unrefined, which is the beauty of it. There’s no need for rehearsed dialogue or time constraints, which is crucial for a kid navigating newfound freedom and the demands of college life.
These simple exchanges provide a comfort that phone calls can’t match. My historical aversion to speaking on the phone, coupled with my difficulty in grasping my son’s train of thought, adds to this preference. I worry that our conversations might dwindle over time, especially since my son shares my reluctance for verbal communication. I’ve even offered him money to answer calls, but he remains uninterested. We both get anxious when the phone rings—it’s just not our style.
While many criticize texting for its limitations, I celebrate it for the connections it fosters. If it enables me to maintain even a small but steady link with my child who’s off exploring life, I’m more than happy to embrace it.
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Summary:
In a world where phone conversations can feel taxing, texting offers a refreshing alternative, especially for keeping in touch with a college freshman. While some find fault in the medium, it allows for quick, authentic exchanges that provide comfort and connection. As my son navigates his new independence, our text messages—though often simple—serve as a vital link that I cherish deeply.