As a parent, I often find myself in conversations that go like this:
Me: Sweet child, could you please go brush your teeth?
Silence.
Me, growing increasingly impatient: Hey! Go brush your teeth!
Still nothing.
Me, on the verge of losing it: Last call! Teeth. Now!
Nada.
Me, ready to explode: HEY! TIME TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH RIGHT NOW!
No response.
Partner: Did you hear your mom? Go brush your teeth.
Suddenly, tiny feet dash off to the bathroom, leaving me bewildered, a bit thankful, but mostly irritated.
What in the world? Why can my kids not seem to hear me, yet respond effortlessly to their dad? It’s like I’m speaking another language or my voice is only audible to animals. Sometimes I feel like a comedian checking the mic — Hello! Is this thing working?
My kids seem to have a case of Selective Listening Syndrome, which explains why I often have to raise my voice. They genuinely don’t respond unless I’m shouting loudly enough to make the dogs flee the room. A polite request? Crickets. A gentle touch while talking? Maybe, sometimes. If I didn’t shout, we’d accomplish nothing.
It’s hard not to take their poor listening skills personally, but I suspect I’m not alone in this. Perhaps it’s a typical kid thing, or maybe it’s because they’re boys — studies suggest that males often struggle to hear women’s voices clearly due to the way their brains process sound. It’s true! Research indicates that men use a different part of their brain to comprehend female voices, which complicates things. So, perhaps I should start singing my requests. In fact, I might have belted out “Get your shoes, we need to go, we are late!” to the tune of “Let It Go” once or twice.
I hear about moms who’ve mastered the art of calm communication, and honestly, it leaves me even more confused. Who are these magical parents whose children listen at normal volume? And why do mine only respond when I’m practically screaming? What’s wrong with me that my kids ignore my five attempts to get their attention but suddenly perk up when my partner speaks?
I’m not looking for advice, trust me. I’ve heard the tips about giving warnings, whispering, or getting on their level. I appreciate the well-meaning suggestions, but my kids are fundamentally good. They’re not disrespectful; they just get so engrossed in their activities that my voice doesn’t register sometimes.
And there’s nothing wrong with me, either, or you, if your children also exhibit Selective Listening Syndrome. We’re all good moms who sometimes need to vent. It’s not just about chores, either. I’d almost accept if they only tuned out my commands, but they can also ignore questions about their preferences. Do you want breakfast? Silence. What do you want to drink? Nothing. Anyone want a cookie? Honestly, sometimes I’m glad they don’t hear that last one.
Perhaps Selective Listening Syndrome isn’t entirely a bad thing. After all, muttering under my breath while enjoying a snack is a bit more enjoyable when no one can hear me, right?
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In summary, dealing with kids and their selective hearing can be a frustrating experience for many parents. It’s not about failing as a parent but rather recognizing that children often become absorbed in their activities and may tune out requests. We’re all navigating this unique challenge together!