Teenagers often adopt a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy when it comes to sharing details about their lives with their parents. For some inexplicable reason, my youngest — my last child navigating the tumultuous waters of adolescence — seems to think that this is my first rodeo with prom. So what’s a parent supposed to do?
Ask questions, of course! Apparently, I’m the annoying parent for bombarding my kid with queries about the upcoming junior prom. My teenager graces us with his presence only a few precious minutes a day, usually after practice and just before his shower. With such limited interaction, I crave connection — or at least I try. Typically, I catch a glimpse of him during mealtime and am allowed a question or two while he shovels food into his mouth.
I have to be strategic with my inquiries to make the most of the time, like a shot clock in basketball. Unfortunately, I often aim for the big questions but miss the mark. So, I gingerly sprinkled a series of questions over several weeks to gauge the who, what, where, when of this momentous occasion. Here’s a glimpse into my relentless interrogation about prom:
- So, you going to the junior prom?
- Are you excited about going?
- Did you ask your girlfriend?
- Are you planning to ask her?
- What’s your plan for asking her?
- Tuxedos or suits — what’s the deal?
- Did she say yes?
- Are you going to the prom or what?
- Is there a pre-prom party?
- When do tickets go on sale?
- Can you please walk the dog?
- What’s your game plan for prom?
- Did you ask her yet?
- I don’t want to hear about it from Jake’s mom. Give me a hint!
- How are you getting there?
- Should we get you a corsage?
- Did you remember to feed the dog?
- What about pre-prom pictures? Want friends over?
- Who are your friends bringing?
- Who even are your friends?
- Do you have friends?
- Who’s got the drinks? Just a reminder — we have a breathalyzer!
- Does anyone else have a date?
- Want your friends to come over after?
- Did you feed the dog?
- What’s the plan for after prom?
- Just a heads up: bonfire isn’t code for something innocent.
- Any plans for post-prom?
- No sleepover! That’s not happening.
- Is she your girlfriend now?
- Do her parents like you? Are you polite?
- Remember, no sleepovers!
- Curfew is a must. How late do you think you’ll be out?
- Are guys going with tuxes or just suits?
- Are you ever going to walk the dog?
- What color is her dress?
- Just a reminder — red Solo cups can get you in trouble!
- Where are you hanging out? Who else is going?
- Are the parents serving drinks?
- Who’s going to be there?
- How long are you planning to stay?
- How are your grades looking? Am I going to be happy?
- Have you bought your ticket yet? Need a loan?
- Did you feed the dog?
- You’ll have to dance! You’re great at it!
- Want friends over for hair and makeup?
- Should we invite her family for pictures?
- Do you think we should get you a tux?
- If I got you a dog, will you walk it?
- Want Mom and Dad to drive you? It could be fun!
What did we learn? Not much. My son’s grunts, vague responses, and eye rolls made us feel like we were losing our minds. (“Us” referring to my husband and me, not the kid — we don’t serve alcohol to minors, which is part of why I have so many questions.)
This is a taste of our daily interactions. I’m sure even more questions bounced off him each morning and night, met with disdain. To each inquiry, I received a grunt or a huff, with him probably venting on social media, “MY PARENTS ARE SO ANNOYING.”
Yet, here’s what I did manage to uncover:
- He does have a girlfriend, and she’s his prom date. We’ve seen her, and she seems wonderful.
- He asked her in a creative way that didn’t involve the over-the-top promposals.
- Friends are renting a bus for the event, and there will be pictures taken at a friend’s house that I am not invited to, but I fully plan to crash.
- His lacrosse coach has set a midnight curfew, which adds a layer of comfort to my worries about teenage shenanigans.
Prom season is filled with love, uncertainty, and excitement — a rite of passage for high school students everywhere. As parents, it’s our job to keep asking the questions, staying engaged, and doing our best to steer our kids clear of trouble. Here’s hoping the memories they make are fun, shareable, and not too scandalous.
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In summary, while navigating the complexities of teenage life can be a challenge, it is important to stay engaged and informed.