In the complex landscape of parenting and personal achievement, there’s a phrase that has overstayed its welcome in my life: “Do your best.” It has lingered long enough to leave a trail of guilt and unrealistic expectations behind. This well-intentioned advice has often cornered me, urging me to perform at peak levels when, in reality, I simply can’t. It’s time for me to challenge this notion and embrace a more forgiving perspective.
The phrase “do your best” sounds harmless, but it conceals a double-edged sword of pressure and self-judgment. Who among us can claim to be at their best consistently? Who can approach each task with unwavering energy and precision? Who can always articulate their thoughts perfectly in a heated discussion or maintain an immaculate life? If you can, congratulations—feel free to stop reading.
Don’t misunderstand me; the effort you put forth is commendable. I’ve witnessed your stunning achievements, from the elaborate birthday parties you throw for your children to those heartfelt moments shared with friends. Your dedication is evident in the races you train so hard for and the emotional speeches you deliver at family gatherings. However, let’s be honest: life isn’t always Instagram-worthy, and the reality is that our best isn’t always attainable.
What if we allowed ourselves to simply do what we can? There’s no need to replicate the highlight reels we see on social media or meet the expectations set by our inner critics. The constant pursuit of “doing your best” can lead to exhaustion and burnout. Perhaps it’s time to retire this demanding mantra. It’s perfectly acceptable to not always be at our best.
For instance, when my children are having mac and cheese for dinner because I failed to execute my elaborate meal plan—does that mean I’m doing my best? No, and that’s perfectly fine. “Best” often implies a standard we may not be able to meet every day.
Is every workout a personal record? Is every assignment an A+? Are all culinary experiments successful? Not at all. We need to recognize that “best” is not the only acceptable outcome and allow ourselves the grace to take it easy sometimes.
When is it okay to settle for less than our best? Perhaps when I’m scrolling through my phone late at night, craving a moment of solitude. When I wake up tangled in sheets, too exhausted to enforce boundaries with my kids. Or when conversations with my tween shift from laughter to terse exchanges; that’s when my best feels like it’s faltering.
In moments of chaos, when I’m juggling responsibilities and my patience runs thin, I may falter. My parenting may resort to bribery just to keep the peace. When my kids exceed their screen time limits, I sometimes allow exceptions—after all, they’re just seeking joy. And there are days when I can barely muster the strength to parent well, whether from exhaustion or other pressing demands.
Are these justifications? Perhaps. But it’s critical to stop measuring our worth against unrealistic standards.
What happens when challenges stack up? In moments of frustration, when I may lash out, I seek forgiveness and strive to improve. Sometimes, merely breathing through the chaos becomes my best effort. In these times, “best” takes a backseat, and what I can offer takes the front.
I now embrace a new space in my heart, one that is open to imperfections and complexity. There’s room for mistakes, for being good enough, and for finding joy in the messiness of life.
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In summary, it’s time to release the weight of the phrase “do your best” and instead embrace the notion of doing what we can. Life is much richer when we allow ourselves the grace to be imperfect.