Updated: Dec. 20, 2015
Originally Published: November 9, 2014
It’s not the scent of the cologne itself that bothers me; it’s the sheer audacity of anyone who decides to apply enough fragrance to fill an entire cabin. What kind of person wakes up and thinks, “Today, I’ll ensure that everyone around me experiences my chosen aroma for the next six hours”?
I contemplated addressing the individual beside me, whom I’ve dubbed “Fragrance Fiend.” After much deliberation, it became clear that no words could encapsulate my frustration. A person who enters a confined space, forcing their olfactory preferences onto others, must surely be out of touch with reality. Perhaps their eccentricity is subtle enough to fool even their closest friends, but it’s undeniable: a heavy cologne user often exhibits traits of a control freak, and dare I say, a hint of sadism.
I found myself fixating on the back of Fragrance Fiend’s head, attempting to decipher what led them to douse themselves in an overpowering scent before stepping into public. I even considered creating T-shirts that read: “COLOGNE RUINS MY RIGHT TO BREATHE FREELY” or “IF YOU’RE WEARING COLOGNE, PLEASE KEEP YOUR DISTANCE.” A classic option, like “COLOGNE” with a prohibition sign, also came to mind.
The cologne market is undeniably lucrative. In 2013, it raked in nearly a billion dollars, according to the NPD Group. Alarmingly, 72% of adult men who wear fragrances began doing so before the age of 17. While it may take years to effectively banish cologne from society (certainly not to be confused with the concept of Outlaw Cologne), perhaps the solution lies in introducing cologne awareness programs in schools.
On a positive note, 37% of American men abstain from wearing any fragrance. If you are among this fortunate group, consider enlightening your friends, brothers, and fathers about how their perfume habits could be giving others headaches and possibly indicating sociopathic tendencies. And just so you know, I would much rather sit behind you on a plane, share an elevator, or stroll past you on a warm day.
This article originally appeared on November 9, 2014.
For more insights and humor about parenting and life, check out our other posts, including tips on boosting fertility with supplements at Make a Mom, or explore Kindbody’s blog for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination. If you’re curious about the effects of cold medicine during this journey, Intracervical Insemination offers authoritative information on the topic.
In summary, sitting next to someone who douses themselves in cologne on a plane can be a deeply unpleasant experience. The pervasive scent can feel like an invasion of personal space, leading to frustration and discomfort for fellow passengers. While the fragrance industry thrives, awareness and consideration for others should take precedence.