As a responsible parent, it’s essential to engage your children in conversations about race. Recently, writer Jamie Turner witnessed an unsettling incident at a playground involving two young girls who refused to allow her daughter to join their play simply because of her hair color. The parents of those girls were nearby but did not step in to address the situation.
Turner felt compelled to intervene and said, “I wished the parents would have said something, but I recognize their silence too.” Her approach was a bit awkward; she reminded the girls that the playground is meant for everyone, regardless of their appearance.
“Talking about race can be challenging, especially for white parents,” Turner reflects. “There’s a pressing need for more resources to help white parents navigate these discussions. However, it’s also crucial for white parents to actively seek out and utilize these resources. I had the benefit of learning from my own parents, and I believe white parents need similar guidance.”
The truth is, addressing race isn’t easy, especially when many white individuals become defensive at the mere mention of it. People of color often find their experiences questioned or dismissed. Turner asserts, “White people must stop invalidating the experiences of people of color. My family supported my perspective, but I know that’s not universal. Just as queer individuals should be trusted in matters of homophobia, people of color should be believed when it comes to racism.”
Turner has recently released a book that delves into themes of resilience and advocacy among mothers, which heightened her awareness of the importance of equipping her daughter with the tools necessary to confront inequality.
Children can’t be expected to embrace inclusivity if their parents don’t model it. It’s insufficient to simply claim, “I don’t see color.” In fact, that phrase should be retired from our vocabulary. We must confront the reality of rampant racism and take action to combat it. Are your children exposed to diverse cultures? Are you celebrating these differences? Are all their toys and media representations reflective of diverse backgrounds? These considerations are crucial in shaping a broader worldview. The mindset of “I’m not racist!” is no longer enough; we need to actively promote inclusivity without seeking validation for our efforts.
Since Turner’s tweets on this topic gained traction, many have reached out to express solidarity. It’s important to remember that if you present as white, you benefit from white privilege. If you are raising children who will also experience this privilege, it is your duty to educate them on race. Don’t shy away from this conversation — just start. As a white mother to children of color, I recognize my mistakes but remain committed to learning and being the best ally I can be for my children and others.
As Maya Angelou wisely noted, “forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.” It’s time to foster a better world for all our children. To begin, check out these valuable resources: How To Talk To Your Kids About Race, So You Want To Talk About Race, and In Vitro Fertilisation for comprehensive insights into these vital discussions.
In summary, it is the responsibility of white parents to engage their children in meaningful conversations about race. By seeking out resources and modeling inclusive behavior, we can help cultivate a more equitable future for all.