“I can’t. I have a baby.” These words, or some variation of them, escape my lips almost every day.
“Coffee catch-up?”
“Oh, the baby is napping!”
“Dinner?”
“I need to get the baby to bed.”
“Intimacy?”
“Really? Are you serious?”
“Time for myself?”
“Pfft. When exactly?”
But the reality is, I could wake the baby, let my partner handle bedtime, and reclaim a piece of my life. For a mix of reasons—some good and some not—I often choose otherwise.
Everything boils down to choices.
One evening, while tidying up, I lamented to my partner about missing my yoga sessions. He casually remarked, “You could still practice. You just choose not to.”
I was taken aback and a bit furious. He was absolutely right. I could fit in a home practice, bring my baby to Mommy and Me yoga, or even attend a class at night. But the effort felt so monumental that it was easier to complain than to act. After all, my days were already packed, and I cherished my evening couch time with a glass of wine while watching “This Is Us.”
It truly comes down to priorities.
Not long after my conversation with my partner, I spoke with a fellow mom, Lisa, who had recently returned to work. She mentioned fitting in workouts during her lunch breaks. I felt a twinge of jealousy.
“I wish I could work out,” I sighed, “but I have no one to watch the baby.”
Lisa looked at me as if I had lost my mind. “You live near tons of trails! Why not hike?”
I used to hike every day but explained to her that my baby was too heavy to carry in her carrier, our hiking stroller was cumbersome and tucked away in the garage, plus there was the hassle of dressing her for the outdoors, coordinating her feeding and napping schedule, and taking out our dog first. As I heard my excuses pouring out, I realized she was spot on.
The following day, I went hiking.
It took much more effort than it did pre-baby. What I used to do before breakfast now consumed my entire morning. But it felt fantastic. As I made this a part of my routine, I became more efficient. Motherhood might complicate things, but it certainly doesn’t make them impossible.
It’s easy to become complacent, though.
When my in-laws visited, they insisted my partner and I go on a date night. We hadn’t gone out since our baby arrived because we felt uneasy leaving her with a sitter. However, I was comfortable with my in-laws watching her. But that night, after a long day of motherhood, I was weary and unmotivated to shower, put on makeup, and wear “date clothes.” I told my partner I wasn’t feeling it. He looked me squarely in the eyes and said, “We need to do this.”
Annoyingly, he was right again. As new parents, we had been neglecting our relationship.
“Alright,” I conceded, “but I’m not dressing up.”
Of course, I ended up getting ready. We explored vintage vinyl shops, enjoyed sushi, and discussed non-parenting topics—though we couldn’t help but mention how strange it was to be out at night without our baby! We were back home by 8:15.
The next day, I felt more like a capable woman navigating life rather than a tired mom. I felt whole.
Each time I gather the courage to step away from the daily grind of motherhood and say yes to activities that reconnect me with myself—even if it means leaving the cozy couch behind—I rediscover who I am.
If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination, check out this informative resource. For those looking into intrauterine insemination, this site provides excellent information. Additionally, this link can help you learn more about the subject.
In summary, while motherhood can complicate life, the obstacles it presents are not insurmountable. By prioritizing what truly matters and making conscious choices, you can still pursue your passions and maintain a sense of self.