I recently had a conversation with my sister about my ten-year-old son, Jake, and his challenges with ADHD. Her son, who is now thriving in college, faced similar hurdles during his childhood, and I found myself needing an outlet for my frustrations. I shared tales of the arguments, the procrastination, and the painfully slow pace at which Jake approaches his assignments.
She chuckled and reminisced, “With Sam, I could never find enough hours in the week to keep him on track. Forget my own commitments in the evening; I had to sit beside him to help him focus and stay engaged… it was overwhelming.” While her insights didn’t provide me with any groundbreaking solutions or a foolproof strategy for helping Jake succeed in school, they reassured me that the ongoing challenges we face are not unique. It was a relief to realize that I wasn’t failing as a parent but was instead doing what was necessary to support my son’s learning journey.
This is one of the most challenging aspects of raising a child with ADHD, and it often goes unspoken. Jake struggles to keep up with his classmates, leading to homework piling up despite a structured 504 plan and the right medications. Each evening feels like a race against time, trying to get him to concentrate while also managing the frequent breaks he needs to stay on task, all the while battling the frustration that arises from his efforts to comprehend material that demands twice the effort for him to master.
More often than not, we find ourselves burning the midnight oil, striving to catch up on school assignments. It’s not uncommon for homework to spill into the weekends, and I feel like I’m juggling the need to maintain his academic progress, ensure he gets enough rest, nurture his confidence, and still enjoy a semblance of family life.
Compared to our other two children, Jake requires significantly more effort to complete his work. He doesn’t learn the same way as his older sister or younger brother, and that’s perfectly okay. My partner and I have had open discussions with him about this, sharing my own experiences with ADHD. We have committed to doing whatever it takes to help our son thrive academically.
But let’s be real—there are days when managing Jake’s ADHD feels all-consuming. We’ve seen specialists, consumed countless books, devised study plans, and collaborated with his school. Adjustments to the 504 plan are frequent, giving the impression that we’re constantly revising it. Our love and commitment to supporting Jake are unwavering because we recognize its importance. To his credit, he puts in twice the effort for half the results, and this makes me want to embrace him tightly, cheer him on, and remind him that with time and perseverance, he will carve out his path in this world.
Still, I must admit—I am exhausted. My partner is tired too. If any group deserves solidarity, it’s parents raising children with ADHD.
So, to those of you who also struggle to find enough hours in the week to assist your ADHD child, know that you’re not alone. I’m right there with you, navigating this journey. When you’re bent over a math workbook, attempting to explain fractions one more time, all while your child fidgets in frustration, it can feel as if the end is nowhere in sight.
That’s why my sister’s words resonated with me so deeply. It felt uplifting to connect with someone who has walked a similar path and has emerged successfully. Her son is now in college on a scholarship, thriving and nearing graduation. Knowing that she has faced struggles like mine with Jake fills me with hope. I believe in my son’s potential, and I am confident that our efforts will pay off.
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In summary, parenting a child with ADHD requires immense dedication and patience. It can feel overwhelming, but you are not alone in this struggle. Share your experiences and seek support from others who understand the challenges you face.