My wife, Sarah, and I had all our kids gathered on the couch for a monumental surprise. Our 9-year-old, Max, wore a tattered superhero T-shirt and mismatched shorts, his eyes sparkling with the hope of a new gaming console. Lily, our 7-year-old, was dressed in her favorite fairy outfit, brimming with anticipation. As for our toddler, she was glued to a movie on the iPad—our secret weapon to keep her still for the big moment.
After a year of budgeting and planning, we had finally saved enough for a family trip to Disneyland. This was a significant milestone for us. Both Sarah and I work in education, and our small home in rural Oregon often requires us to pinch pennies. This trip was set to be the biggest vacation we’d ever taken—three days in the park, staying at the Disneyland Hotel, complete with park hopper passes. We had talked endlessly about how excited we were to share this experience with our kids, imagining their joy when they found out. We even wrapped the park passes along with some cute Disneyland luggage tags, envisioning the triumphant moment of revelation.
As we handed the package to Max and Lily, they tore through the wrapping paper. Sarah and I exchanged hopeful glances, eagerly awaiting their reaction.
“What’s this?” Max asked, a hint of confusion in his voice.
“They’re passes to Disneyland!” Sarah squealed with delight.
“Oh…” Max replied, his tone as flat as when we announce it’s cereal for breakfast.
Lily mirrored his reaction, and I felt a wave of disappointment wash over me—it was as if a balloon had popped inside. I glanced at Sarah, whose expression was equally bewildered. The tickets lay forgotten on the floor, while Max had already donned his headphones, returning to his game. Lily got up and wandered back to her room. There was no applause, no cheers, nothing but silence.
Now, as a parent, it’s easy to overthink moments like this. Perhaps our children have grown accustomed to surprises and have become somewhat spoiled? I doubt it, considering our previous family trip was five years ago to a free zoo in Saint Louis. Maybe we had failed to instill in them the magic of Disneyland. I remember the awe and excitement I felt as a child—it felt almost mythical.
But, in reality, what I believe happened is quite common among parents: we project our own childhood experiences onto our kids, assuming they’ll feel the same thrill we did. It’s like watching parents on the sidelines of a soccer game, yelling “Have fun!” while their kids sit, bored, picking at the grass.
Sarah and I both visited Disneyland as children, and those memories are some of our happiest. I specifically remember my trip with my father just before he left, which remains one of the few fond memories I hold of him. Our kids, however, hadn’t yet experienced the park; they simply didn’t know what to be excited about, leading them to shrug off our big reveal. They lacked the emotional connection we had with Disneyland.
But in that moment, I was not thinking rationally. Instead, I felt hurt and confused. “Really?” Sarah asked, incredulous. She called Lily back into the room to explain all the princesses she would meet and the wonders awaiting her. We described rides and characters, even showing them videos of the attractions online. Slowly but surely, excitement began to light up their faces. Success!
Ultimately, our trip turned out to be incredible—the kids adored every minute. Now that they have experienced Disneyland, I know that if we were to surprise them again with park passes, their reactions would likely be far more enthusiastic. What we learned is that children are still discovering the world; they can’t be expected to share our enthusiasm for experiences they have yet to have.
Most importantly, we need to recognize that their interests and experiences are different from ours. Just because they don’t share our childhood obsessions doesn’t mean they are ungrateful. It simply illustrates their uniqueness as individuals.
And let me be clear—I am genuinely relieved they enjoyed Disneyland because it was quite the investment!
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Summary
In this heartfelt reflection, a father shares his experience of surprising his children with a trip to Disneyland, only to be met with their seemingly indifferent reactions. Through this experience, he learns about the importance of understanding his children’s unique perspectives and the different ways they experience excitement and joy. It highlights the challenge parents face in bridging their childhood memories with their children’s current experiences.