“Mom…” my son begs, his voice quivering. “I feel so anxious.” He shakes his hands as if trying to physically rid himself of the tension. He takes deep breaths, inhaling through his nose and exhaling through his mouth, a technique we’ve practiced together. I mirror his actions, inhaling deeply myself. “It’s going to be alright,” I attempt to comfort him. “You’ve faced this before, remember? You can handle it.”
We’re embarking on a long road trip to visit relatives 14 hours away. We’ll be there for a week before making the return journey. Family trips of this nature are not new to us; we’ve spent a year traversing the country, logging countless hours and miles. Back then, travel didn’t faze him. His anxiety had been limited to specific scenarios, primarily worrying about getting sick. Only recently has he begun to fear being away from home.
Despite my best intentions, I find myself offering the same empty reassurances. “Don’t worry,” I say. “Everything will be fine. Worrying won’t help you.” I know these phrases fall flat; articles on anxiety confirm that dismissing an anxious person’s feelings does little to alleviate their distress. My son has expressed this to me, yet I still find it difficult to resist.
I rarely use the term “hate,” but I genuinely despise anxiety. I acknowledge this stance may not align with the views of motivational speakers, but it’s the truth. I loathe what it’s done to my bright, imaginative child. I resent how it tries to dictate his actions, discouraging him from pursuing what he enjoys. It’s infuriating that it doesn’t respond to logic or reason, which are typically my allies against my own mild anxieties.
Anxiety is a deceitful adversary, and I don’t always manage it well. Occasionally, I lose patience with my son during his anxiety attacks. I’m not proud of this. But when panic strikes at the worst times, preventing him from enjoying activities he loves, I sometimes misplace my frustration—directing it toward him instead of the anxiety itself.
The reality is, I’m human, just like he is. Neither of us always manages our emotions perfectly, but we are both trying. He began therapy, but the initial therapist wasn’t a good match, so we’re now exploring a second option that seems promising. Progress is being made, albeit slowly. If cognitive behavioral therapy proves insufficient, we’ll consider medication. We’re doing our best, and we’re seeing some positive changes.
However, the process is incredibly challenging. For those without experience in anxiety or depression, it can be hard to grasp the daily struggles faced by those who do. This battle is often invisible, making it difficult to articulate.
Anxiety can present itself in unusual physical symptoms, such as dizziness and headaches without a clear medical cause. Furthermore, since everyone experiences anxiety at some point, it can be tough for many to recognize the stark difference between typical nervousness and crippling anxiety.
As a parent, my greatest desire is to alleviate my child’s suffering. I wish I could confront anxiety directly and tell it to leave my son alone. I long to fix it, to nurture it away, but I can’t do that. Instead, I must educate myself on how to help him and seek every possible avenue for professional support. I need to manage my own frustrations, as they do not aid the situation. Offering my son unwavering support is crucial, while saving my frustrations with anxiety for my own private moments. I must also remind myself that, while my struggles are real, they pale in comparison to what my son is enduring.
To all the parents navigating the challenges of raising anxious children, we may not always get it right, but we are doing our best.
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Summary:
Navigating the complexities of raising a child with anxiety is challenging. This article discusses the emotional struggles of a parent trying to empathize with their anxious child, the impact of anxiety on family dynamics, and the importance of seeking professional help and self-education. Parents are encouraged to manage their frustrations and provide unwavering support while recognizing that their child’s battle is far more daunting.