Before I became a parent, I never truly grasped what it meant for a child to struggle with transitions. I kept my thoughts to myself, but I often found myself thinking, “Children are just being difficult; a firm approach will sort them out.” Then along came my son, who has a tough time adjusting to any shift in activity or environment, and I found myself wishing I could have a word with my pre-parent self. It turns out that trying to move him from one thing to another, especially on a timeline that doesn’t align with his needs, can lead to chaos.
My youngest daughter is the epitome of this struggle. As a baby, she would scream at the mere sight of the car seat. As a toddler, she would become anxious whenever her other parent left for work, and she has always resisted the process of getting dressed. Change is not her friend, and it can be exhausting for both of us.
Now that she’s six, she’s more capable of doing things on her own, but the challenges remain the same. Whether it’s mealtime, school, or bedtime, she often finds it difficult to focus on transitioning. There are times she becomes so engrossed in an activity that pulling her away creates a whirlwind of frustration. She doesn’t listen, refuses to stop, and expresses her need for more time, despite already having been given plenty.
I’m well aware that her resistance stems from sensory issues and anxiety; it pains me to see her overwhelmed by a world that feels too fast and loud for her. I’ve tried everything from setting timers to using visual cues, and while some strategies work occasionally, more often than not, it feels like a battle.
With two other children to care for, who also need help transitioning (though they don’t require nearly as much attention), I find myself stretched thin. I have my own commitments to keep, and I simply don’t have the energy to create playful distractions or negotiate every little transition. All of this can lead to outbursts on both our parts, and it leaves us both feeling drained.
I’ve physically had to remove her from situations just to get her out the door, and it’s hard not to feel guilty afterward. I know she’s trying, and I’m trying too, but there are days when my patience runs out. It’s difficult not to compare her to her siblings, and I often feel that her need for extra support detracts from the time I can spend with them.
After our tumultuous moments, I always make it a point to reconnect with her. She understands that I love her, and I know she’s doing her best. This journey of figuring out how to be the best parent we can be, especially when each transition feels like an uphill battle, is something that isn’t often discussed in parenting books.
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Summary
Parenting can be a challenge, especially when children struggle with transitions. It can be exhausting for parents to manage their child’s needs while also taking care of other responsibilities. This article highlights the difficulties of navigating changes with a child who has sensory issues and anxiety, and emphasizes the importance of understanding and patience in the face of these challenges.