As Benjamin grows older, the developmental gaps between him and his peers have become increasingly apparent. His inability to communicate verbally is the most prominent issue we face, and it often brings us sadness. We find ourselves yearning to hear his sweet little voice, wondering if it will ever sound like that of his younger brother, Ethan. Each time I hear Ethan call out my name, my heart fills with both joy and sorrow; it’s a complex emotional landscape we navigate as a family. How can we fully cherish these moments when we are still longing for that connection with Benjamin?
In addition to his autism, Benjamin has been diagnosed with childhood apraxia of speech (CAS), a condition that many people are less familiar with than autism. This neurological disorder creates a disconnect between the brain and the mouth, making it difficult for Benjamin to produce words or sounds consistently. He knows what he wants to say, but the physical ability to articulate it is hindered.
To help Benjamin communicate, we began teaching him basic sign language. He learned the signs for “more” and “all done,” which significantly improved our ability to understand his needs. Prior to this, we often found ourselves guessing what he wanted, as he couldn’t even shake his head to indicate “yes” or “no.” The introduction of these signs opened a window into his desires, but we soon realized that we needed a more comprehensive means of communication.
The options available for enhancing communication are extensive yet overwhelming. As parents, we often grapple with self-doubt when making decisions about our children’s upbringing—from birth plans to schooling. For parents of children with special needs, these decisions can feel even more critical. We constantly wonder about the implications of waiting too long or rushing into something new.
After much contemplation, my partner and I decided to create a communication book with Benjamin’s teacher. There was a part of us that hoped if we waited just a bit longer, he might start talking on his own. But how long is it fair to expect him to go without a voice? We couldn’t let our hopes hinder his opportunity for better communication.
We compiled real photographs of items he interacts with daily—his favorite treats, toys, and even familiar spaces like our backyard and bathroom—creating a book with around 20 laminated pages and Velcro attachments. Initially, Benjamin could only focus on six pictures at a time, but now he can flip through the pages to select what he wants, bringing me the corresponding image.
Witnessing his rapid progress makes me reflect on the time he spent unable to express his needs. As parents, we strive to meet our children’s needs, but now that Benjamin can choose his preferred snacks, toys, and activities, I realize I wouldn’t have selected half of what he hands me daily.
Recently, during one of his therapy sessions, Benjamin was having a tough time while my partner and I were in another room. It was around five o’clock in the evening, a time when he typically comes home from a long day of school and additional therapies. Like many kids, sometimes he simply wants to unwind after a busy day.
However, today was different. Benjamin used his communication book for the first time to request his parents. He flipped through to the last page, which features pictures of me, my partner, and his brother. He selected our photos and handed them to his therapist. At just three years old, he could have chosen to ask for something like his favorite ice cream or playtime on his swing, but instead, he wanted his mom and dad. This moment validated our role as parents in a way that felt profoundly significant. While Benjamin reaches out to us for comfort, knowing he is actively trying to communicate adds a layer of depth to our relationship.
In this bittersweet journey of parenting a child with special needs, we cherish every step forward, however small.
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Summary
This article explores the emotional journey of a parent with a nonverbal child who has autism and childhood apraxia of speech. The family navigates the challenges of communication and celebrates milestones as their son begins to express his needs through a communication book.