Updated: August 20, 2015
Originally Published: July 14, 2015
Lightning striking the same place twice is a rarity, but when it does, the impact is profound. The phenomenon of lightning is complex; it possesses beauty—vivid, unforeseen, and invigorating—yet it also brings destruction—ferocious, relentless, and lethal. As an onlooker, you’re awestruck by nature’s might, but if you’re caught in its path, the experience is filled with dread and suffering. To endure a second strike is to face utter devastation.
This is the reality of discovering that something is amiss with your child. The initial revelation is shattering. The burden of the news weighs heavily, filled with fear and uncertainty, and the loss of dreams and aspirations feels suffocating. You may wallow in grief, confusion, and even anger, questioning how fate could deal such a harsh hand to an innocent. You find yourself bargaining with the universe, pleading to exchange places with your child, wishing to sacrifice anything for a reprieve. This emotional turmoil can last for weeks, months, or even years.
When you face the news a second time—that another child will also grapple with challenges—the emotional toll is even more severe. This new sorrow engulfs you with a raw intensity that can leave you weak. It rushes through your veins, inflicting a primal despair that escapes as anguished cries. The weight of grief thickens like molasses, winding its way into the deepest parts of your being, consuming any remaining sense of stability. What previously took years to process now settles within hours, leaving you feeling hollow and defeated.
During this second ordeal, faith in a higher power may fade. The questions of “why” become irrelevant, and negotiations with the divine seem pointless. You regard the notion of God with indifference, whether viewing Him as powerless or uncaring. Consequently, you abandon prayers, recognizing their futility. This realization brings neither sorrow nor rage—it simply becomes part of your reality.
The onslaught of emotions is overwhelming; no amount of venting or physical release brings relief. Hatred simmers within you, a bitterness that is both frightening and consuming. You grieve for your child’s future and wrestle with fear—doubting your strength to endure this once more. Yet, amidst the chaos, your love for your child remains unwavering. You cling to hope, even as you recognize its fickle nature; it can be a cruel companion that often leads to disappointment.
You become two distinct individuals sharing one body: one who has weathered this storm before, offering reassurance, and the other, a fresh victim overwhelmed by despair. Eventually, as swiftly as heartbreak descends, it begins to retreat. The pain recedes back into the depths of your soul, leaving a small, festering corner that is always ready to strike again. Yet, amidst this lingering grief, logic and reason manage to carve out a space, allowing you to begin planning and coping.
You may know that lightning seldom strikes the same place twice, but when it does, the aftermath is profound. The remnants of your spirit, once battered and scorched, are forever altered.
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Summary
The experience of learning about a child’s challenges can feel like being struck by lightning, especially when it happens more than once. The first revelation brings crushing grief and uncertainty, while the second strike intensifies these feelings, leading to despair and a sense of helplessness. Yet within this turmoil, love endures and logic can eventually provide a path forward, despite the profound changes that persist in the aftermath.