As I stood in the kitchen one evening, scrambling to prepare a somewhat healthy meal, I realized just how much I had neglected to express affection toward my tweens. It took a single word from my oldest daughter, “Mommy,” to snap me out of my routine. When did she stop calling me that? She was excited to share a school essay she had worked hard on, and it hit me—my older children still need my love and attention, perhaps more than ever.
In contrast, my younger kids are unabashedly affectionate. My seven-year-old son races home from the bus every day, running straight into my arms for hugs and kisses. He still believes that we are engaged in an everlasting love fest, and I happily oblige. My preschooler is often glued to my side, showering me with “I love yous” and demanding snuggles. They thrive on this connection, but somehow, I lost sight of what my tweens need.
Navigating this confusing phase of life, tweens oscillate between being carefree children and moody preteens. They’re grappling with intense emotional changes brought on by puberty and the pressures of social media. They work hard to project an image of independence, often insisting they don’t need us—until they revert to their younger selves, seeking comfort and reassurance.
After a period of self-reflection, I realized that I had unintentionally reduced the affection I showed my older daughters, assuming that they had outgrown it. I had let their age dictate the level of intimacy in our relationship. But being older doesn’t mean they don’t crave my hugs, bedtime cuddles, or even a simple arm around their shoulders.
In a moment of clarity, I understood that I needed to change this. I started creating connection lists for each of my children, identifying their unique love languages and activities we could do together. For my oldest, I surprised her with gold star decals for her room, turning it into a fun project where we could bond. For my other tween, we engage in playful conversations and silly games, which allows us to connect without the pressure of deeper discussions.
By nurturing these connections, I’ve built a foundation of trust that enables open dialogue about tougher subjects like vaping, body autonomy, and anxiety. Reflecting on my own tween years, I recognize that today’s kids face even greater challenges, making our bond more vital than ever.
The realization that my tweens still need my affection—and that I can provide it in ways that suit them—has transformed our relationship. That moment in the kitchen when my daughter called me “Mommy” was a wake-up call. I’m now committed to closing the gap that had formed between us.
For more insights on parenting and nurturing connections, check out this other blog post on Home Insemination Kit. Additionally, for expert advice on fertility and family planning, visit Medical News Today, a great resource for anyone navigating these conversations.
In summary, don’t underestimate the need for parental affection as your children grow. Every child is unique, and finding what works for each of them is crucial. Let’s not pull away just because they’re getting older—instead, let’s find new ways to connect.