You know you’ve hit a certain age when you observe the younger generation with a mix of awe and apprehension. As my kids approach their teenage years, I often find myself oscillating between being impressed by their self-assurance and achievements and being anxious about them. One moment, I’m reminding them to wear clean socks, and the next, I’m stunned as they create a polished PowerPoint presentation in less than a minute. Clearly, I’ve entered the phase of parenting characterized by nostalgic thoughts about how drastically life has transformed since my own youth.
Here are some of my recent observations, as someone who feels more like a relic than a parent (and yes, I could really use some prunes right about now):
- What Happened to the Awkward Phase? When did 13-year-olds start looking like they belong on a runway? Scrolling through my social media, I could have sworn it was Fashion Week instead of the start of a new school year. Is that Kate Upton and Gisele Bündchen at the bus stop? Oh, wait, it’s just some middle schoolers headed to eighth-grade science class. With the help of early orthodontics, skincare brands, and trendy stores like Hollister and Abercrombie, the awkward years seem to be disappearing. However, that misplaced awkwardness seems to land squarely on parents, like me, who find themselves shopping alongside these ultra-cool preteens at the mall. But hey, those intense moments of awkwardness and exclusion help build character, right?
- The Most Active Inactive Generation? This generation is supposedly battling obesity and inactivity, but the 11-year-old who nearly sprinted past me in a recent 5K might disagree. Many kids today are practically superhuman, participating in multiple sports year-round and breaking records. I mean, when I was their age, running for 30 minutes was a monumental effort that left me gasping for Kool-Aid and a hug from mom. Kudos to these pint-sized athletes who seem to redefine fitness!
- Online Affection vs. Real-Life Discontent: These kids are quick to “like” everything online—a beach, a tree, even a football field. In reality? The beach is “too sandy,” the tree is “annoying,” and suddenly, football isn’t their thing at all.
- Socializing in Silence: Why is it that preteens in the same room barely acknowledge each other but can’t stop trying to connect when apart? Put a group of them together with their phones, and the silence is deafening. Yet, once they’re home, they’ll text and FaceTime like their lives depend on it. “I didn’t look at you 20 minutes ago, but I need to see your face now! Where are you?!”
- Should We Call Sleepovers “Sleepunders”? Given that most kids barely manage five hours of sleep during these events, that seems more fitting. And as for their underwear? Let’s just say “overworn” might be more accurate.
- Eating Habits of Toddlers with Sophisticated Drinks: It’s astonishing how picky many kids remain about food well into their teens. It’s as if their taste buds can only accept processed chicken nuggets. Yet, they’re ordering complex coffee drinks like seasoned baristas. A 12-year-old requesting a “grande iced skinny mocha-choco-latte” has become completely normal.
- Attention Span Paradox: They seem to have the attention span of a gnat unless it involves something like Minecraft, which warrants hours of focus. Asking them to read a book for 15 minutes? Preposterous! However, they can engage in a video game for two hours without blinking.
- The Evolution of Language: Kids abbreviate everything online, yet “vs.” has morphed into a verb. I overheard, “Who is your team versing tonight?” Even reputable dictionaries might want to consider this as a new entry.
- The Photo Dilemma: Preteens can snap thousands of selfies in a week, but get them to pose for a family photo, and they’re gone like that 11-year-old who beat me in the 5K. I’ve given up on family Christmas photos, opting instead for a montage of their Instagram moments—I’m just deciding between the one of my son in front of a porta-potty or the one where he’s stuffed three marshmallows in his mouth. Both are equally charming!
Despite these astonishing shifts, parenting older kids is an enjoyable adventure. When asked what it’s like, I say, “It’s akin to sharing a hasty lunch of chicken nuggets at a Starbucks with Gisele Bündchen after versing Tom Brady in a 10K.”
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In summary, today’s preteens are a fascinating mix of confidence, social media savvy, and unexpected habits. Their lives seem to be a blend of old-school childhood experiences and modern-day complexities.