Recently, I found myself on a call with a friend, lamenting our shared struggle with sciatica. Both of us are juggling full-time jobs while raising young children. “Did you know,” she mentioned as she navigated morning traffic, “I endured debilitating pain for five months simply because making it to the doctor felt too overwhelming?”
I completely understand. Just last week, I attended my first annual checkup in three years. The doctor asked if I’d had an MRI for my back. “Nope.” How about a Pap smear? “Nope.” Teeth cleaning? I chuckled. Who has the luxury of time? She handed me a stack of referrals for ultrasounds, MRIs, and mammograms, which I promptly shoved into my bag. And there they remain.
Balancing work and family life takes a significant toll on parents’ health. If you’re anything like me, you’re often racing your kids to the pediatrician for fevers, rashes, and the occasional stomach virus that could rival a scene from The Exorcist. If I leave work early to take my child for a checkup, it becomes exponentially more challenging to find time for my own health concerns the following week.
Sleep is another elusive luxury. Last winter, a friend of mine dealt with a persistent cough for months. When I asked about her sleep schedule, she shrugged. As a freelancer and single parent, she often worked until 1 AM, leaving no time for adequate rest. Consequently, she developed walking pneumonia because visiting the doctor and getting enough sleep was simply unfeasible.
And then there’s exercise. I genuinely enjoy working out! If I could carve out just one more hour in the day, I would absolutely squeeze it in. However, my early work hours mean I spend late afternoons with my kids, which leads to an early bedtime. As a result, I’m lucky to fit in yoga twice a week. My friend with back pain struggles to attend physical therapy appointments, while another working mom I know has given up entirely. “I’m up at six with the kids and still managing work until 11 PM. There’s literally no time for exercise—the work must get done,” she explains.
Americans now average nearly 47 hours of work each week, compared to just under 35 hours in other nations. We also spend about 50 minutes daily commuting; in a major city, that can stretch into hours sitting in traffic. Add in childcare, housework, and the mundane tasks of life (like filling out camp forms and buying school supplies), and the time left for parents to focus on their well-being diminishes to almost nothing.
For mothers, the dual pressures of work and parenting can be particularly detrimental. According to Working Mother, women who experience high job stress have a 40 percent increased risk of cardiovascular disease compared to those with lower stress levels.
This isn’t solely a working versus stay-at-home issue; it’s a systemic cultural problem. We tend to drive instead of bike, school drop-offs happen early, and extracurricular activities run late. Finding time to cook wholesome meals is challenging, and quality ingredients can be costly. In today’s precarious economy, many of us feel compelled to work grueling hours just to maintain our jobs.
Each fall, I set resolutions, viewing the new school year as a fresh start. This year, I’m committing to a few minutes of yoga daily, preparing more meals from scratch, and making that long-overdue appointment for my MRI—once I track down the prescription. If that means scaling back on work or allowing my kids a bit more screen time, so be it. I want to have it all, but I also value my health.
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