A few weeks back, I decided to indulge in a bath—a proper one, complete with bubbles. I only treat myself to this luxury every seven or eight months. Although it’s never truly relaxing, I persist, hoping for a moment of peace. I stopped locking the bathroom door long ago; I’d rather endure unexpected visitors than hear the chaos unfold from outside—screaming, fighting, and urgent bathroom requests.
“Mom, are you finished yet? What’s taking so long, Mom? Move over, I was here first! Stop hitting me! Mom, he just hit me! Mom, I need to go potty RIGHT NOW!”
We have four bathrooms in our house—four! But I find it easier to leave the door unlocked and brace myself for the inevitable interruptions (sigh).
I barely had six minutes of bliss before my first uninvited guest arrived. She walked in, plopped down on the toilet, and made herself more comfortable than I’d ever been on a toilet seat.
“Why are you taking a bath, Mom? You never do that.”
Before I could respond, the second uninvited guest charged in, full of enthusiasm. “Mommy! You’re taking a bath! Can I watch?”
“No, and shouldn’t you be doing your homework?”
“Oh yeah, I’ll go get it.”
“Okay. Wait. What?”
She returned almost immediately, homework in hand, and seated herself next to the tub with her lap desk.
“Really?” I thought.
“I need help with my homework, Mommy.”
The first guest chimed in, “Mom is trying to take a bath! Right, Mom?”
“Yes, dear, very observant of you,” I replied, as she sat on her throne, staring down at me and pointing. “Mom, maybe you should cover up with a washcloth or something?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Am I making you uncomfortable? You see, in most cultures, it’s customary to remove one’s clothing before stepping into a relaxing bath. Just a thought.” It’s always a good opportunity to teach my kids a little common sense.
Then came Uninvited Guest #3, making his entrance like a race car speeding out of the pit. “MOMMY! Why you takin a bath? Can I come in?”
“No, Buddy. Go find your Dad (where on earth is he?!).”
“Otay Mommy, be right back.”
“Perfect.”
UG#2 asked, “Mommy, do you like taking a bath?”
“Sometimes more than others,” I replied.
“Mom, the bubbles are disappearing. Are you sure you don’t want a washcloth or something?” UG#1 pointed again.
“Nope. I’m fine. But I appreciate your concern. Here’s an idea: how about you get out?”
Just then, UG#3 came barreling back, grinning from ear to ear, only wearing a smile.
“Stop the car! Get out!”
“BUDDY, YOU ARE NOT COMING IN HERE…” (sigh) “Hi Buddy.”
“I yike takin a bath with you, Mommy.”
“Please hand me the washcloth.”
And there you have it—my brief moment of “me time” in a nutshell.
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Summary
The article humorously captures the chaos of motherhood through the lens of a simple bath experience. Despite having multiple bathrooms in the house, interruptions are inevitable, leading to a light-hearted glimpse into the daily life of a mother trying to carve out a moment of solitude.