Updated: July 22, 2023
As a parent, I often find myself yearning to explore passions beyond my family life. Yet, the demands of raising little ones can sometimes overshadow my creative desires. While parenting is undeniably rewarding, the challenges of finding even a moment to breathe can be frustrating.
To gain some clarity, I decided to spend an evening at a local jazz club where my friend Mark was performing. He regularly participates in jam sessions, where musicians—some of whom he might not even know—collaborate on spontaneous performances. The atmosphere is electric; the number of players can vary, and songs can range from a few minutes to nearly half an hour. Mark takes it all in stride, immersing himself in the music, note by note.
The next morning, during our walk, I couldn’t help but ask him about the art of improvisation.
Me: “How do you just get up there and play without knowing the song? Aren’t you afraid of making mistakes?”
Mark: “It’s all about the moment. Musicians call out the key, and you simply play what feels right. It’s about improvisation—don’t overthink it. If you start to worry about messing up, you’ll miss the flow. Just trust yourself and keep playing.”
Me: “But what happens if you hit a wrong note?”
Mark: (chuckles) “You just keep going. If you stop, you’ll lose the rhythm. Trust that you’ll find your way back.”
I realized that truly engaging in something challenging and enjoyable offers a liberating escape from daily stresses. Yet, as a busy parent, nurturing my own passions often takes a backseat. That night, I decided it was time to stop holding myself back, to call out my own key, and start creating.
Yet doubts crept in.
- I’m not good at this.
- Just keep playing.
- I don’t have time.
- Keep improvising.
- What if I fail?
- So what? Dismiss those fears. Keep jamming.
- The baby needs changing?
- Tend to that, and then get back to your passion.
Many of us fear pursuing our happiness, believing it might be selfish. Ironically, prioritizing our joy allows us to be better for those around us. I firmly believe it’s crucial to tap into our potential and share our unique contributions with the world.
Fast forward two and a half years, and I’m thrilled to share that I wrote and published a cookbook! Who would’ve thought? This journey has taught me that pursuing your passions doesn’t require permission.
Here are my nine tips to help you uncover your own rhythm:
- Release Self-Imposed Pressure
Stop worrying about doing it “right” or comparing yourself to others. Your unique experiences are yours alone. When I quieted the noise, my inner voice encouraged me: “You can do this.” - Embrace Uncertainty
No one truly has it all figured out. We’re all improvising as we go. Instead of waiting for complete clarity, start your project and learn along the way. - Accept Mistakes
Mistakes are part of the learning process. Like Mark, who might miss a note but keeps playing, don’t let fear of imperfection hold you back. Trust the journey. - Talk About Your Ideas
Don’t keep your passions to yourself. By sharing your intentions, you invite positive energy and connections. I found amazing collaborators by simply expressing my vision. - Follow Your Gut
Be honest with yourself about what excites you. Time is precious; pursue what you love. If a project sparks your interest, dive in. - Offer Support to Others
What skills do you possess that can benefit someone else? Helping others often leads to discovering your passions. I realized I enjoyed streamlining meal planning for families, which became a significant aspect of my cookbook. - Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone
Letting go of the fear of judgment can be liberating. Focus on what brings you joy rather than seeking validation from others. - Identify Your Emotional Triggers
What stirs your emotions? For me, it’s food and memories associated with it. Connecting deeply with what you love can fuel your creative endeavors. - Let Go of Perfectionism
Perfection is a myth. If Mark waited to master every song, he’d never hit the stage. Remember, the audience is often larger than the performers. Many people are too fearful to join in.
So, what’s keeping you from starting? What ideas are you holding onto because you doubt their value? Push through that self-doubt, find your key, and start your journey.
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Summary
Discovering your passion can be challenging, especially as a parent. By letting go of self-doubt, embracing mistakes, and connecting with others, you can ignite your creativity and pursue what truly makes you happy. Don’t let fear hold you back from exploring your potential.