Let’s get straight to the point, shall we? You were warned that marriage would evolve with time and that there would be challenges, but nobody prepared you for the reality of it all.
You might feel drained and isolated, or perhaps a bit overlooked lately. Maybe you had a disagreement last night, the night before, and the one before that. You might be feeling irritable about the dishes that somehow never make it into the dishwasher, and for goodness’ sake, can someone please change the toilet paper roll? It’s possible you’re going through a tough patch, arguing over leaving the fridge door ajar or forgetting to replace that burnt-out lightbulb in the bathroom. Or, on a more serious note, maybe you’re grappling with something truly overwhelming.
Whatever it is, your marriage seems like a heavy load right now. You find yourself humming lyrics from a Coldplay song on repeat. Everyone knows it won’t be easy, but—seriously—who said it would be this hard?
Everywhere you turn, you see cheerful couples and perfect family portraits on social media, making you think they don’t argue about which cereal to buy. You observe other parents and question whether they were up until the wee hours of the morning debating whose turn it was to care for the baby. You notice adorable couples at the park, pushing their kids in swings, and wonder if they’ve ever faced the kind of mundane struggles you’re currently experiencing.
Rest assured, they have. We all do. Yes, each marriage has its unique challenges, but we’ve all experienced our own rocky moments on the road to what people call marital bliss.
Here’s the truth that’s rarely shared: Marriage is incredibly challenging. Sometimes it’s downright tough.
And here’s another thing you might not hear often: It’s perfectly normal for marriage to be difficult at times. You’ll get through it, and your relationship will endure.
Let’s discuss a few other truths about marriage that you won’t find in those clichéd pieces of advice you receive at bridal showers:
There Will Be Arguments.
You’ll find yourselves squabbling over significant issues, trivial matters, and even things that seem insignificant. You’ll argue about whether to shop at local stores or big-box chains, whether your son needs a haircut, and whether your Aunt Lisa is simply misguided or genuinely offensive. Late-night debates will arise over enrolling your daughter in dance versus soccer, and you’ll have heated discussions about whether the toilet seat should stay up or down. Expect to give each other the silent treatment for days after one of you suggests that perhaps your mother is a little “overly affectionate.”
There Will Be Frustration.
You might find yourself shocked by the intensity of the anger you feel when you see his shoes strewn about or hear her chewing loudly. You may want to smother him with a pillow if he snores peacefully while you’re up at night—again!—tending to the baby, getting the toddler a drink, or soothing the older child after a nightmare. You might lose your cool entirely when she runs out of gas—once more!—forcing you to leave a meeting and drive an hour round-trip to rescue her.
There Will Be Scorekeeping.
You’ll start keeping track of who’s had less sleep and who’s worked longer hours. You’ll monitor who changed the last diaper and whose turn it is to control the TV remote. You’ll note how many hours each of you spends driving kids to activities versus working at jobs that pay the bills. Count on it: you’ll tally up the dirty socks on the floor, dishes in the sink, and toilet paper rolls that remain unchanged.
There Will Be Tough Times.
And I don’t mean the hypothetical challenges you envisioned before having children, which were supposed to involve brief arguments followed by passionate make-up sessions. No, marriage can be genuinely demanding.
But here’s the silver lining: It’s okay that marriage is challenging.
Despite the arguments, frustration, and hard times, marriage can be incredibly rewarding. The truth is that some of life’s most beautiful experiences—marriage and parenting among them—require significant effort. Marriage isn’t filled with endless joy or romantic escapades; it’s not about idyllic strolls in the park followed by passionate afternoons. It’s not about those cheesy social media posts filled with phrases like “soul mates” and “#blessed.”
Marriage demands work, and you will encounter difficulties along the way. When you share your life with someone—juggling family obligations, careers, taxes, and Netflix choices—it’s inevitable that you’ll occasionally get stuck in the mud.
But you will persevere. You’ll remind yourselves that you’re in this together. You’ll bicker, then make amends. You will compromise. If necessary, you’ll seek therapy. You’ll take a deep breath, share a laugh, and move forward.
So take heart; you’re not alone. Marriage can be tough for everyone at times. Surviving those challenging moments might even strengthen your bond. Ultimately, marriage means having someone by your side who will weather the storms with you.
If you found this article relatable, consider visiting our other blog post about at-home insemination kits, which can provide more valuable insights into family planning and parenting.
In summary, marriage is a complex journey filled with ups and downs, arguments, and moments of joy. It requires hard work and understanding, but ultimately, it can be one of the most rewarding experiences in life.