We’ve all experienced it: standing in line at the grocery store, your baby asleep in a carrier while a toddler inches closer to an impending tantrum. Your older child has been whining non-stop, you’re desperately craving a cup of coffee, and, to top it off, you really need to use the restroom.
As you juggle these demands, an older woman in line behind you sighs nostalgically. You catch her eye and brace yourself for the inevitable comment. “Oh, I remember those days. They fly by! My children are all grown now. They’re little for such a brief time. Savor every moment.” And there it is—the phrase that can feel utterly maddening to a mother with young kids.
Most days, you feel like you’re on the brink of exhaustion. There are hours—sometimes even moments—that feel impossible to enjoy. How can you possibly savor every second of this chaotic phase? As a mother whose youngest child just turned nine, I can assure you that attempting to relish every moment is unrealistic. But what those well-meaning older parents truly intend to convey is worth unpacking.
While not every moment with young children is filled with joy, many are genuinely special. It’s crucial to acknowledge and appreciate those fleeting instances of joy. Make a conscious effort to be present during these moments. Cherish them, and imprint them in your memory. During the overwhelming routine of motherhood—endless cycles of feeding, cleaning, and comforting—it’s easy to overlook the sheer beauty of these brief periods of happiness.
The reality is that parenting is often a mix of chaos and tenderness. While we might dream of a perfect world filled with sunshine and cuddles, the truth is that it’s frequently noisy and exhausting. However, scattered among the turmoil are those remarkable moments that deserve your attention.
You’ll want to savor these experiences because, eventually, your son will shy away from your kisses, and your daughter will confidently take the wheel of a car. Those sweet, tender memories will help you cope when your children begin to seek independence.
Yes, it can be challenging to remember to treasure those little moments when you’re feeling unkempt and overwhelmed, perhaps even while standing in a grocery store line. I know firsthand that while the advice to “savor every moment” can feel annoying, it also resonates during the delightful experiences of early childhood.
If I encounter you struggling with little ones in public, I’ll aim to express my sentiments differently. Instead of merely saying, “Enjoy every moment,” I might say: “I remember those days. They are tough, yet so sweet. The days might feel long, but the years are short. Make sure to soak in the moments when they’re calm and content. You won’t miss everything about this stage, but you will miss certain things—like their soft skin and infectious giggles. Capture those memories and hold them close. Even if it feels impossible now, you will rediscover yourself one day.”
Or perhaps I’ll simply smile and say, “You’re doing a great job, mama.”
You don’t have to savor every single moment of motherhood at any stage; that’s not feasible for anyone. But do ensure you take full advantage of those joyful moments when they arise. In hindsight, time moves quickly, and you will treasure those memories you consciously embraced.
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In summary, while the chaos of early parenting can be overwhelming, amidst the noise, there are precious moments to cherish. Embrace these fleeting joys, for as time passes, they become invaluable memories.