“Oh, I can’t invite you over,” other moms often say. “My house is in complete chaos.” As soon as I arrive for a playdate, they rush to warn me, “Don’t judge me! It’s a total disaster in here. Seriously, I’m so embarrassed.”
Let’s be real. This is a classic case of exaggeration.
When I step into the homes of these apologetic moms, I can’t help but laugh or roll my eyes. Seriously? Their spaces are not messy; they’re spotless. Guest towels are neatly arranged, toys are contained to a single rug that isn’t even sprinkled with crumbs. Sippy cups stay in the kitchen, and the family dog doesn’t shed. Claiming your home is dirty speaks to a misunderstanding of the reality of raising small children or perhaps a desire to make me feel guilty about the state of my own home. Enough already! You can either have a pristine house or young children, and I have three boys under five.
So, to all those moms claiming their perfect homes are a mess, and to those normal parents who hesitate to invite others over because they believe their level of cleanliness is unattainable, let’s set some realistic standards.
Normal: A Room That’s Always Cluttered
In my home, that room is the dining area, furnished with my great-grandmother’s cherry dining set. It’s where I sew, store art supplies, and hide various items that don’t fit anywhere else. If it’s not a holiday or a birthday, you’re not allowed to see this room, Judgy McJudgerson.
Normal: Laundry Chaos
Currently, I have five clean baskets blocking the fridge and a load of laundry still in the dryer. I have successfully avoided dirty clothes for now! A relative of mine once hid a pet snake under her laundry baskets for two weeks to keep it a surprise. That’s laundry heroism!
Normal: Dishes Everywhere
Your sink, dishwasher, table, and counters are probably piled high with dishes, making it impossible to find a clean spoon. You might even resort to using a teaspoon for your cereal. If you’re contemplating using a grapefruit spoon, it’s definitely time for a load.
Normal: Bath Toys Left Behind
After bath time, bath toys are exactly where your kids left them, and let’s not pretend we don’t know what lurks behind the shower curtain.
Normal: Toy Overload
Toys are scattered across the house, and no matter how hard you try, you can never get every piece picked up. True story: I’ve found ball pit balls in my washing machine, yard, and wedged between car seats.
Normal: Cups, Cups, and More Cups
We somehow survived childhood in the ‘80s without multiple cups, but now my kids need a drink at all times, leaving cups everywhere. They’ll even ask if a cup is “good” before taking a sip.
Normal: Art Damage
My bathtub has tie-dye stains that may never fade, and I need to repaint a section of the kitchen wall thanks to my toddler’s artistic endeavors. If your child hasn’t taken a pen to the wall yet, you’re doing something wrong.
Normal: Car Clutter
You can’t see the floor of your car due to fast-food wrappers and stray diapers. And yes, your partner has definitely complained about it.
Normal: Forgetting Trash Day
You’ve forgotten trash day yet again, and your garbage can is overflowing. But as long as you got the trash out of the house, you’re winning at life!
Normal: Dust Bunnies
You probably haven’t dusted since your parents last visited, and you’re not even sure where the Pledge is.
Normal: Unusable Areas
Some part of your home is in disrepair. My oldest son has never seen us use the master shower because we just haven’t gotten around to fixing it. When I shared this with other moms, I learned that I’m not alone; others admitted to having unusable bathrooms and decks with holes.
So there you have it! Your house is either spotless, and you should stop feeling guilty about it, or it’s perfectly normal chaos, so go ahead and host that playdate. We’re all in the same boat. I promise not to peek into your dining room if you don’t look into mine.
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Summary
This piece discusses the realities of parenting and the chaos that comes with it, challenging the notion of what constitutes a “messy” home. It highlights the common struggles of maintaining cleanliness while raising young children and encourages moms to embrace their lived-in spaces without shame.