Your grandmother used to say them to your mother. Your mother then passed them down to you. And now, here you are, astonished, hearing these same phrases escape your lips. Are you transforming into your mother? Take a breath; you’re not becoming her. You’re simply echoing wisdom that holds true across generations. These parental maxims endure for a reason: they reveal essential truths about children, parenting, and behavior. They may be irritating or even offensive, but their relevance remains undiminished.
“I’m not your maid.”
My mom repeated this to me nearly every day. While part of parenting involves cleaning up after kids, there’s a limit. You’re not accountable for the swords strewn across the dining room, the Legos scattered in the living room, or the couch cushions mysteriously dragged back to the bedroom. Hampers exist for a reason, little ones. Use them.
“Were you born in a barn?”
The snappy retort here is, “Jesus was born in a barn.” The comeback to that is, “And he never left his clothes on the floor.” This saying usually surfaces when I find the door wide open—children, it seems, have a peculiar inability to remember to close it. It also applies to cups left lying around, poor table manners, and clothes littering the floor.
“Wait until your dad gets home.”
This isn’t about Dad being the ultimate authority figure or the primary disciplinarian. It merely means I’m holding off on discipline until the other parent is around—when they arrive, little Timmy will be outnumbered. We relish hearing our partner exclaim, “He did what?!” while the child senses impending doom.
“Mama needs a drink.”
#truth #allthetime #passthewine
Honestly, no one could use a drink more than mothers. No other job demands you to manage chaos, deal with screams, and read “Goodnight Moon” for the umpteenth time within a single day, only to be yelled at again. You deserve a cocktail, preferably adorned with a tiny umbrella. Say this when a child does something so absurd you can hardly believe it. This happens roughly once a day.
“You’ll understand when you’re older.”
Typically said when discussing topics like relationships or why they can’t have endless candy, this phrase covers everything from sugar to the impossibility of zip-lining off the roof. Expect some eye-rolling from your child; it’s generally deployed when you’re at a loss for words, almost like throwing up your hands and exclaiming, “I’m out of ideas!”
“It is what it is.”
My dad often used this phrase to explain life’s frustrations. It’s meant to calm the storm while making you look wise, but it’s really just code for “Stop arguing. I’m not changing my mind.”
“You’ll ruin your eyes.”
Whenever I sat too close to the TV or read in dim light, my grandmother would admonish me, “You’ll ruin your eyes!” This is just a roundabout way of halting behavior that drives you up the wall. Since saying “That’s super annoying” isn’t an option, parents often fall back on the old eye-ruining platitude. If glasses end up in the picture, you can always say, “See? I told you so.”
“I told you so.”
Nothing feels quite as satisfying as this phrase. Mothers often repeat warnings, like “You’ll shoot your eye out,” and when misfortune strikes, it provides a bittersweet sense of validation for them. It’s a way of saying, “Maybe next time you’ll listen, kid.”
“Just wait until you have kids.”
If you thought “I told you so” was gratifying, this phrase packs an even bigger punch. It suggests your child is being such a handful that you can’t wait to see them face the same challenges with their own kids. It’s a last-ditch effort, a parting shot in a losing battle, designed to annoy while foretelling future chaos.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it.”
This one is dramatic and carries a sense of authority. While it’s not entirely true, it certainly sounds powerful. We all know this phrase is a relic of rearguard parenting, but it feels so good to say. If you’re ever in a public place like Target, uttering it will impress the older folks around you, who believe this is what today’s kids need: real discipline.
“You get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit.”
It rhymes, which makes it even more annoying. This phrase teaches kids that they won’t always get their way and should accept it gracefully. Use it when you hand your child the green cup instead of the yellow one or when they must eat a PB&J instead of those fancy octopus hot dogs. Its sing-song quality works wonders with toddlers but can also be wielded against teens for extra sass.
Yes, these phrases can be bothersome, but their timelessness speaks to our desperate attempts to maintain order. Your mom used them, your grandma did too, and now they’re rolling off your tongue. They are truths that will likely find their way into your children’s speech someday. Feel free to point that out—if you want to be a little cheeky.
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In summary, the phrases that parents repeat often stem from wisdom passed down through generations. While they may seem outdated or irritating, they carry truth and can resonate with your own experiences in parenting.