“I’m 9 years old, and I have OCD. It makes going to school really difficult because I worry I might do something strange, like shout out bad words or accidentally spit food on the floor and then feel compelled to eat it again. I don’t want to do those things, but my OCD makes me feel like I have to. This constant battle leaves me feeling stressed all the time. Even at home, I face the same challenges. At night, I often feel the urge to shout or check under my bed for monsters. If I get a scratch or bruise, I have the impulse to hurt it even more. So every day is filled with anxiety and frustration.”
These are the heartfelt words of my son, a creative, vibrant, and kind-hearted child. Yet, he feels isolated and overwhelmed, longing for a life that isn’t dominated by OCD. Just last night, he expressed a desire for normalcy, free from the constraints of his condition. It breaks my heart to see him struggle and feel powerless against OCD.
Here’s a glimpse into his school day:
- 9:00 a.m. — “Morning meeting: It’s enjoyable but nerve-wracking since I fear I might embarrass myself by swearing in front of my classmates.”
- 9:30 a.m. — “Math: Stressful because I worry about making loud noises or writing inappropriate things on the Smart Board.”
- 10:30 a.m. — “Reading: Even more anxiety about swearing or being disruptive in a quiet setting.”
- 11:10 a.m. — “Recess and lunch: I generally enjoy recess, but sometimes I feel urges to hurt myself. Thankfully, it’s been warm lately, so my tongue won’t stick to the metal poles like it did earlier this year. I also have this habit of eating my lunch in threes and occasionally dropping food on the floor, which leads to an urge to eat it again.”
- 12:00 p.m. — “Writing: This class is the toughest. I like my teacher, but the silence makes it hard since I’m still buzzing from recess. I feel compelled to swear or make loud noises, and I sometimes tear up my paper.”
- 12:30 p.m. — “Specialists: Gym is a good break, although I sometimes have odd impulses there. The other classes—art, music, and Spanish—are just as stressful.”
- 1:35 p.m. — “Social Studies and Science: Some days are easier, especially when we’re busy with experiments. But on quieter days, I’m overwhelmed with the urge to make noise or drop things.”
- 2:30 p.m. — “Free-choice time: This is my favorite part of the day. I can relax and read or play without worrying too much about others watching me.”
- 3:30 p.m. — “The bus ride is manageable, as long as I don’t sit near the emergency alarm. If I do, I feel the urge to pull it, which I have to resist.”
He also shared, “Whenever I walk down the hall, I have to touch my knees to the ground in threes. I often feel urges to scribble on my papers, take things that aren’t mine, or even hurt myself. I got a nasty bruise on my leg this week, and sometimes I have thoughts of hitting it with a hammer. I know it’s painful and I don’t want to do it, but my OCD brain insists I should. It’s hard to talk about these urges since they feel wrong or embarrassing.”
My son wishes to share his experiences so that others can understand what it’s like to live with OCD. He’s worn out from battling his condition but feels even more isolated by the fear of being discovered. He hopes to believe that he’s still “OK” despite his struggles. For those who relate to his experiences, could you offer some words of encouragement? Let him know he’s not alone and that there is hope for a life beyond OCD.
For those unfamiliar with OCD, thank you for reading. While it’s impossible to fully comprehend the challenges of battling OCD urges, I hope my son’s story fosters empathy and understanding for those facing similar battles. If you’d like to learn more about fertility options, check out this resource on pregnancy and home insemination. Also, for further insights, you can visit Make a Mom for useful information on home insemination kits. Additionally, Intracervical Insemination provides authoritative content on this topic.
In summary, my son’s journey with OCD is a daily struggle filled with anxiety and fear, but he holds onto the hope that others will understand and support him. His courage to share his story is a reminder that no one is truly alone in their battles.