Every morning, as I take my children to daycare, I engage in the same heartfelt exchange.
“Mom, are you going to pick us up?”
“Absolutely, sweetheart! I always come back for you!”
“Mom, are you coming back?”
“Of course! I always return.”
Then, I embrace them tightly, planting kisses on their cheeks before turning to leave. However, for the past few months, a chilling thought has crept into my mind: what if one day, something happens, and I don’t return?
Regardless of whether I’m stepping out for a quick errand or a full day, I always bid them farewell with reassurance. Their inquiries about my return aren’t merely about logistics—they seek the comfort that their mother will always be there when they need her.
This reality weighs heavily on me, especially as a single parent. I am fortunate to have a loving family who would care for my children if I were unable to. Still, the core of their questions goes beyond who might pick them up; they want to know if I, their mother, will consistently be present in their lives.
Children inherently desire the assurance of their parent’s presence, a fundamental truth that shapes their world. I’m fully aware that one day I won’t be here. I hope that day remains far in the future—ideally many decades from now. I long to witness every milestone in my sons’ lives: their first days of school, their weddings, and the moments that will define them as adults.
While my boys are still quite young, their questions often stem from a need for stability and reassurance. Despite my unwavering presence in their lives, they are also conscious of a parent who is not always there—a reminder of uncertainty. This contributes to their heightened concern each day, even though they’ve never had a reason to doubt my commitment.
As a mother, the thought of leaving this world too soon is one of my deepest fears. The same dread lingers as a daughter, as I reflect on my own mother—someone I still depend on as much as I did in my childhood.
My children will always seek me out, from the small acts of tying shoes to the significant moments of their lives. Even when I’m unable to physically be there, I hope they carry my spirit with them. I want them to know that my love is unwavering and that I would traverse any distance to be by their side.
As long as I have breath in me, I will strive to be there for my boys. In the event that I cannot, I pray they remember my love and the lengths I would go to return to them, knowing deep inside that I was always their biggest supporter.
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Summary:
The article reflects on the deep fears and concerns of a mother regarding her ability to always be there for her children. It emphasizes the importance of a mother’s presence in a child’s life and the emotional impact of potential loss, while also highlighting the need for reassurance in parenting.