When my son, Alex, was diagnosed with mild autism at the age of two, our developmental pediatrician reassured us that he would develop better social skills as he matured. Eager to help him, I took notes as the doctor advised, “Broaden your approach. Connect with both typical and atypical children. Engage in community activities and groups.”
I watched Alex during this time, his limited speech and parallel play with peers leaving me anxious about his social future. Yet, I couldn’t help but smile at his laughter as he observed other kids. I often found myself biting my lip, wondering if he would ever find true friends.
As if our doctor had a crystal ball, Alex did begin to socialize more as he grew. In social therapy, he learned to confidently ask his peers to play, proudly stating his name and inquiring about theirs. Every little success filled him with joy as he connected with his classmates.
By the time kindergarten rolled around, Alex came home excitedly listing his friends. While he played frequently with one child in particular, he seemed to have a whole group around him. We were overjoyed and eager to facilitate their friendships through playdates and shared activities.
However, it didn’t take long for us to notice that some of his friends, especially one, were not always kind. Though these kids were generally good-natured, instances of teasing and exclusion started to surface. Alex struggled with these situations, often feeling hurt and confused.
As parents, we sometimes brushed off such behavior, thinking it was just how kids interacted, telling ourselves this too shall pass. When Alex expressed sadness, instead of focusing on the core issue, we offered him tips on how to assert himself better. In our quest for him to fit in, we overlooked the importance of nurturing his self-esteem and self-worth.
After a particularly upsetting incident, we had a heart-to-heart with Alex. It became clear that merely having friends was not enough; we needed to teach him the value of choosing friends who uplift him. I sat down with him, free from the influence of doctors or therapists, and imparted a lesson we both needed to learn: we should never settle for friendships that don’t make us feel good about ourselves. True friends are kind, inclusive, and supportive. It’s not about having any friend; it’s about having the right ones.
Before long, instead of coming to me with tales of sadness, Alex began to share stories of joy, proudly announcing snack time with a friend.
Moving forward, I hope to continue guiding him towards healthier social interactions, helping him build connections that are positive and fulfilling, while still casting a wider net. Alongside this journey, if you’re interested in related topics, check out this home insemination kit for more insights. For families with toddlers, magnets for toddlers can also be a fun way to engage them. Lastly, for more information on pregnancy and home insemination, this resource is excellent.
Summary:
This article reflects on the author’s experience socializing her son with autism, highlighting the importance of fostering self-esteem and choosing the right friends over merely having friends. The narrative emphasizes the lessons learned through navigating social challenges and the hope for positive connections moving forward.