When confronted with a friend’s miscarriage, I found myself at a loss for words. Saying “I’m sorry for your loss” felt insipid and detached, reminiscent of the clichéd responses often seen online. It lacked the genuine compassion I wanted to express to someone navigating such a profound sorrow.
To gain insight, I reached out to women who had experienced miscarriage. I wanted to know what support had been meaningful to them and what advice they would offer to someone currently enduring this heartache. My aim was to create a helpful guide for those, like myself, who wished to offer solace without sounding insincere. However, their responses led me to a deeper revelation.
One question stood out: “What do you wish you had received more of during and after your miscarriage, and why?” The consistent reply was a desire for greater information and empathy from their healthcare providers.
Many women shared sentiments like:
- “I felt like I was just another case to my doctors. A little more understanding and warmth would have meant so much.”
- “When I miscarried, I received a pamphlet that felt cold and clinical. Doctors often handle these situations routinely, but their bluntness can make us feel like our emotions are exaggerated. It would have been comforting to have someone acknowledge the fear, anxiety, and grief that come with losing a baby.”
- “I was simply told to go home and wait for the miscarriage to occur. I was left confused about what was happening to my body, how long the bleeding would last, and what questions I should even ask.”
Instead of compiling a list of tips, I found myself writing a letter—a heartfelt message to my healthcare provider. A reminder that our physical and emotional experiences cannot be easily separated. I wanted to express that even a small gesture of compassion could mean the world during such a painful time.