There you are, contentedly lost in your own world, diligently coloring at the dining room table. The joy you’re taking in your craft is evident. As you meticulously select each color from your impressive assortment of markers, I can see the thoughtfulness and creativity behind your masterpiece, which reflects your beautiful and one-of-a-kind spirit.
You might not realize I’m observing, but I am.
Every so often, you glance up at your brother, who is clinging to my legs, demanding “Up…up, Mommy!” His incessant calls grow louder, and I try to focus on complimenting your artwork. However, his persistence is overwhelming. In an even louder voice, he shouts, “UP! UP, MOMMY!!!” He’s glued to me like he’s made of Krazy Glue, and despite my efforts to encourage him to play by himself, it rarely happens.
I scoop him up, hoping to finally appreciate your beautiful creation. I notice you occasionally look at the cartoons on TV, and when something amusing occurs, your whole face lights up with laughter. Your dimples reveal the joy you are experiencing. It’s a true delight to witness your independence.
But before I can reach you, your brother begins to demand a snack. I gently remind him that dinner is on the way, but he’s not fond of hearing “no.” He starts to throw a tantrum, and my plans to focus on you are quickly derailed.
I know you might feel neglected, but I assure you, I’m trying.
Now I’m juggling dinner preparations while managing a screaming toddler who could snack for days. I’m not an octopus, and the chaos is escalating. You’re deeply engrossed in your coloring, and I can barely glimpse the vibrant mosaic you’re creating, as your brother continues to shout for attention. He wants up, snacks, hugs, and everything in between, and my patience wears thin. It feels like he’s monopolizing all my time and energy, and perhaps you might ask me for something small. My response may come out curt, and my tone may reflect my stress, but that’s not your fault.
I know you may think I’m not listening, but I am.
Sensing my frustration, you stop what you’re doing and try to assist me by talking to your brother. You hold his hand and attempt to calm him down. It’s remarkable that instead of vying for my attention, you take a moment to help.
I know you may doubt my appreciation for this, but I truly do.
As we gather for dinner, the struggle is real. Your brother typically requires more coaxing and convincing than anyone else. While you might need a little persuasion, you usually put in the effort to eat. Meanwhile, we lavish applause on your brother for the simplest bites, and instead of seeking praise for yourself, you cheer him on. You embody the best qualities of a big sister. Although you finish your meal while he barely starts, you patiently wait for him to catch up, even if he leaves the table multiple times.
I know you don’t think I notice these things, but I do.
Once dinner wraps up, I often feel completely spent. As I start to clean up, you return to your coloring. Your brother has left a plate of half-eaten food behind while clamoring for more snacks. You wait quietly for your treats instead of making demands, continuing to immerse yourself in your art as he persists with his “MOMMY, UP” pleas.
As bedtime approaches, I find myself wrestling with your brother, trying to get him into his pajamas. When I ask you to put yours on, you don’t argue. You just finished a stunning piece of art, and your radiant smile fills the room. You ask me if I like it, and I respond with a heartfelt, “I love it.” You cut it out from your coloring book and hand it to me. This moment captures your essence: kind, joyful, loving, generous, and independent.
I want you to know, my low-maintenance child, that even though your brother often demands more of my time and energy, I see every single thing you do. I witness your joy in the simplest activities. I might not always be right next to you, nor have an extra hand to carry you when your brother is clinging to me, and my words may not always be as plentiful for you as they are for him. But know this: you are seen, you are heard, you are valued, and you are loved just as much as your brother.
As you both grow up, our family dynamics may shift, but my hope is to make sure you always feel cherished and recognized for who you are.
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In summary, even amidst the chaos of parenting, the little moments of joy and connection with my low-maintenance child shine through, reminding me of the beauty of family and the importance of being seen and appreciated.