Today, my daughter asked me, “Mommy, why don’t you wear makeup?” I wasn’t taken aback; I’ve been in a phase where feeling accomplished means simply having showered and changed out of my workout clothes.
Makeup has never been a significant part of my routine. In fact, the few items I own are tucked away in a Caboodles my mother gifted me during my high school years — some of those eyeshadows must be ancient by now.
As I watched my daughter scrutinize my face, I couldn’t help but ponder what thoughts were swirling in her mind. Perhaps I appeared different than I did a few weeks back. The wrinkles I’ve earned and the bags under my eyes have certainly become more pronounced since I’ve been a mother for nearly nine years.
With three young daughters who observe my every move, I want them to look in the mirror and embrace their reflections, free from self-criticism or judgments about their flaws. It’s within these so-called imperfections that some of our most distinctive beauty resides.
I encourage my daughters to care for their skin and appreciate their appearance, but I want to steer them away from the trap of comparison. They should never feel pressured to mold themselves after someone they admire. My hope is for them to develop into strong, self-sufficient, and confident women who cherish their natural beauty — a beauty that no amount of makeup can enhance.
Similarly, I want my son to appreciate women for their inner beauty, which is often concealed beneath layers of unnecessary makeup. I want my children to recognize that beauty can manifest in numerous forms.
So, how do we define beauty?
Beauty is a woman with a warm smile. Beautiful is being healthy. It’s confidence, strength, energy, uplifting spirit, and inspiration. Beauty is resilience, the way a woman holds herself, and her ability to rise above trivial matters. It lies in her understanding of the hard work required to attain meaningful things in life.
Beauty encompasses how a woman nurtures her family and herself, caring for her emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being.
My children won’t remember the days I opted for minimal makeup or how I aged throughout their childhood. They won’t recall the days when my wrinkles frustrated me more than I’d like to admit. Instead, I hope they remember that their mother faced aging with grace, dignity, and a sprinkle of humor, without taking herself or her flaws too seriously. I want them to cherish the kitchen dance parties we shared, regardless of my comfy attire, messy bun, and bare face.
So when my daughter asked, “Mommy, why don’t you wear makeup?” I smiled, kissed her nose, and simply replied, “Well, I didn’t think I needed it today. What do you think?” She beamed back at me, wrapping her arms around my waist, and confidently said, “Nope. I think you look pretty just the way you are.”
This article was originally published on July 12, 2016.
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In summary, I want my daughters to grow up knowing that true beauty stems from within and is defined by strength, confidence, and how we treat ourselves and others.