By: Sarah Thompson
My daughters frequently ask me about my early years. Some evenings, their interest seems genuine, while other times I suspect they’re just trying to stretch out bedtime a little longer. I usually respond with neat little anecdotes featuring a clear narrative arc, like the time a German shepherd scared me on my way to school and how I cleverly dodged that encounter.
However, there’s one story I rarely tell, one that I’m only beginning to grasp myself. My mother was just 23 when she welcomed me into the world, and she was 34 when she and my father separated. It wasn’t until she was 42 that she found sobriety. Throughout these experiences, she imparted a subtle lesson that resonates deeply with me today. Some might refer to it as a “joy-hack,” which is ironic, considering her own mother’s name was Joy.
Money was often tight, and we didn’t own many brand-name items. I grew up in hand-me-downs, while she created work outfits by adding her own flair to modest pieces. I could claim she taught me to resist material desires, but the truth is, I still find myself yearning and purchasing! What she truly gifted me was the ability to discover joy, even amidst chaos. This is a lesson I want to pass on to my daughters, but it’s not something I can simply articulate. I can’t just say, “Hey girls, when life gets tough, happiness is still within reach.”
This principle shines through during challenging times, like when I felt utterly defeated after a load of laundry spoiled in the washer. With a sudden rainstorm disrupting a warm spell, I heard my middle daughter exclaim, “Mom, I don’t have any pants!” I rummaged through a cupboard and retrieved a pair of leggings with stains. “Here you go,” I said. She frowned, “Mom, these have a hole. My teacher sends me to the nurse if anything’s got a hole.”
In that moment, I grabbed my sewing kit. Instead of frantically trying to fix the tear, I decided to sew a smiley face onto the waistband, transforming the mishap into something fun. “Mom, you are so amazing!” she exclaimed. At that moment, I reflected that it was my mom who had truly been amazing.
A few years back, my husband and I faced near financial disaster due to our struggling business compounded by an economy that was far from forgiving. In those dark days, I felt suffocated by panic. Yet, in the midst of despair, I found solace on the couch, running my fingers over a quilt’s threads, the predictable grid offering a sense of calm. As I examined the colors and textures, I discovered hope in a patch of green fabric, reminiscent of a sunny day captured within a torn scrap. Life is undeniably challenging, filled with errors and unexpected misfortunes, but my mother instilled in me the strength to cling to something positive, protecting a part of my spirit from being overwhelmed.
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In summary, the lessons I learned from my mother about finding joy in adversity are invaluable. They shape how I approach challenges and how I hope to guide my daughters as they navigate their own lives.