People often inquire, “What insights did you glean from your experience with cancer?” It’s a daunting question, one that encompasses not just the diagnosis but the entire emotional rollercoaster that followed. How do I articulate the lessons learned from surrendering my fate to medical professionals, my loved ones, and even divine forces? How can I convey the profound shift in my worldview brought on by this experience? In short: live boldly, and yes, wear that swimsuit.
At age 13, I donned my first real bikini—a charming blue and white gingham number adorned with a yellow daisy. The excitement was palpable; the padding surprisingly flattering. But then I saw my friends in their swimsuits, and a wave of self-doubt hit me. At just 13, I was already grappling with feelings of inadequacy about my body.
Fast forward to age 17, when I finally developed some curves, but not the ones I had imagined. They settled awkwardly on my thighs and waist, and I felt robbed of my ideal body image. For nearly a decade, I avoided shorts, favoring jeans and skirts to shield myself from the perceived flaws that plagued my self-esteem.
During my pregnancies, however, I felt a deep sense of beauty, proudly nurturing new life within me. For that fleeting time, I cherished my body without comparing it to others, celebrating the miracle of creation. Yet, as time passed, I faced the inevitable changes that come with aging and motherhood, and once again, swimsuit season filled me with dread.
I’ve experienced being both fit and healthy, as well as sick and thin. Ironically, I feared the swimsuit more than many genuine threats in life. My body has endured a tumultuous journey, leading me to question whether I would ever recognize it again. I ponder: what joys did I forgo by shying away from wearing that swimsuit? I realized that if I had never felt truly comfortable in a swimsuit after 35 years, the only barrier was my own self-judgment.
Therefore, what I ultimately learned from my cancer experience is simple: wear the damn swimsuit. If you want to dive into life—splashing with your kids, soaking up the sun, or simply enjoying the moment without worrying about your body—then just do it.
But wearing the swimsuit is just the beginning. It opens the door to so much more. So, if swimming isn’t your thing, indulge in life:
- Eat the donut.
- Dance like no one is watching.
- Sing loudly in the shower or car.
- Take an evening walk as the sun sets.
- Reach out and express gratitude.
- Snuggle longer, let chores wait, because they will always be there.
- Share your story; you’re the only you.
- Travel to experience the world, or even just explore your local area.
- Discover your roots and honor those who paved the way for you.
- Engage in your faith and love one another.
- Learn to cook your favorite meals or find the best local spots.
- Read voraciously and ignore the laundry.
- Revisit childhood films and relive those moments of joy.
- Be present in nature—feel the grass, watch the clouds.
- Surround yourself with people who evoke laughter and tears.
- Dive into the pool or take a risk—live fully.
- Create a space that reflects you, with plants or candles.
- Try something new, whether it’s a hobby or a simple change.
- Engage in active pursuits that surprise your body.
- Savor fresh, bold flavors.
- Connect with others—share a coffee, hold hands, or just enjoy being together.
- When fear arises, take the plunge and make a splash.
- Embrace each day for what it is. Shine your light.
Life is fleeting; no matter how long we have, make it count. Wear the damn swimsuit.
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Summary:
The journey through cancer taught me to embrace life fully, shedding insecurities and living boldly. Instead of shying away from experiences due to self-doubt, I learned to wear the metaphorical swimsuit—fully immersing myself in life’s joys and adventures. Life is too short to hold back.